Was Ist Das? Ein Weiterer Liebster?! Ausgezeichnet!
“The world is never the same once a good blog has been added to it” – Dylan Thomas.
A BIG THANK YOU to Danica @ Living A Beautiful Life for nominating me for another Liebster Award!
This honour is particularly special to me as Danica is truly one of the blogosphere’s exceptional treasures; her collection of “Short Stories, Flights of Fancy and Everyday Anecdotes” are a delight.
What is the Liebster Award?
The word “liebster” (originating in German) has several definitions — dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued.
This award recognizes bloggers who offer amazing content and can connect with their readers in ways that are truly awesome. For me, it is an opportunity to show my appreciation for the finest blogs to illuminate my Reader (and let you know that my visits would be far more frequent if poss!)
Acknowledge the blog that nominated you and display the award.
Answer the 11 questions the blogger gives you.
Give 11 random facts about yourself.
Nominate 11 blogs.
Notify those blogs of the nomination.
Give them 11 questions to answer.
11 QUESTIONS Answered
Coffee or tea or mocha/hot chocolate?
Teaall day every day while writing. Mocha whenever in town.
Why do you blog?
To show editors/employers what Brad can do; without anything published (yet) my blogs are the only proof that BRAD LIVES. And has created.
How would you describe your sense of humor?
Good to flimsy!
What would you do in your ideal day?
Anything with Mrs. B!
Summer or winter?
Summer boy, definitely! English Winters always got the better of me…
Beach or mountains?
Love both! Nothing like walking along a beach. Or biking in the mountains.
Could you live without your smartphone?
Interesting question!
A more pertinent query would be to ask most people why they feel the need to live WITH one! It has become such a monotonous, time-wasting addiction. Nobody calls/texts me; my laptop offers any data/news updates anyway – would much rather prefer a sardine sandwich than a smartphone, thanks.
Do you like sardines?
Aha! Now you’re talkin’…
How do you like your eggs?
Preferably on me table, not in me face, cheers!
Does the weather affect the way you see the day?
The best time to write is when a storm is howling outside – gratifying to know you’re not stuck out there in it!
Can you dance well?
Blimey Charley, CAN Brad dance! Woo-hoo!! Gets on the good foot whenever he can…
“The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words” – William H. Gass.
1 THERE’S BEEN NO BLOGGING this past weekend, because my artwork is taking up all my creative time/effort @ th mo! It is another therapeutic way for me to unwind.
2 NEVER EATEN in McDonalds – as an “active” member of the Friends Of The Earth group at college, we voted to boycott all branches (then suffering from a reputation of unhygienic practices) – a principle this freedom fighter has faithfully adhered to ever since…
3 CAN’T STOP playing this:
4 NEVER MET any of my current group of friends. Seeing as you are all bloggers – based predominantly Stateside, (presumably reading this right NOW!) – have wondered how great it would be to have a mocha and a chat with you!
5 MOST OF THE BEST IDEAS for my fiction come to me when out walking.
6 THE ONLY STAR WARS ACTOR that Brad met was Dave Prowse.
The Green Cross Code was a national campaign during the 1970s to educate UK children road safety issues. Dave Prowse magically appeared in a number of TV commercials as the Green Cross Code Man to instruct kids to: Stop! Look! Listen! before they dared to venture out into the road. Went to a local funfair to meet him; he took one look @ pint-size Brad and slapped a Green Cross Code badge on me. Will never forget it – was like being punched in the chest! Top bloke.
7 BELIEVE that Lawrence of Arabia (1962) is the GREATEST Movie Ever Made. It excels in every department: direction, cinematography, the acting, etc. It has the best entrance of any character in cinema history; that score by Maurice Jarre! And the screenplay by Robert Bolt remains truly inspirational and unmatched. There are enough fantastic quotes to fill at least THREE of my Posts! Choosing just ONE clip for this Post is gruelling enough, but Anthony Quinn’s first scene is both dynamic and amusing.
(see Question #7)
Auda Abu Tayi: “Who told you that?”
T.E. Lawrence: “I have long ears.”
Auda Abu Tayi: “And a long tongue between them…”
8 THE NAME of my record shop would have been “Al Gore Rythms.” (Would he have approved? Probably not – can’t spell rythms).
9 STILL TYPE ‘s’ instead of ‘a’, and ‘r’ instead of ‘e’!
10 HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN that Bradscribe has its own Facebook page! (Doesn’t matter – NOBODY looks @ it anyway – ha!)
11 THIS IS THE ONLY BLOG to have LOST Followers in the last six months!
“Eighties – I’m living in the Eighties
Eighties – I have to push, I have to struggle
Eighties – get out of my way, I’m not for sale no murr!” – Killing Joke.
Yes, again!
Welcome to my very own neon sanctuary, which – not that surprising to all those who know an’ love Bradscribe – oozes with positive 80s vibes.
A cavalcade of classic 80s pop can get me out of any daggy, uncreative mood. After a few weeks stuck in a rut – unable to make ANY of my writing dance, or fly, in my usual inimitable groovy style – various vids were activated and bingo! –it has worked! My reviews, articles – even my fiction! – are now back on track.
Instead of banging out that intense piece aboutdystopian SF – besides, it’s a wet and drearyBank Holiday Monday out there – thought it best to spread this feelgood factor. In this Age of Outrage, we could certainly do with MORE FUN and nostalgia!
This is not the first time this site has delved into Neon Nostalgia – and it won’t be the last!
Not only could you listen to the best pop music – on your own Sony Walkman of course! – the 80s also offered the best videos, the bestmovies, the best telly shows, the best candy etc. etc.
For those of you too young to remember the Golden Age of the music video (or never around then) no worries! Let this selection of some of my faves – with my blessings – be your gateway.
No need to get your deely-bobbers in a twist! Help yourself to a Curly-Wurly!
Just pull your jacket sleeves up, stick your ghetto-blaster in the air andaway we go!
“You’re too shy shy hush hush eye to eye Too shy shy hush hush eye to eye Too shy shy hush hush eye to eye Too shy shy hush hush hush” – Kajagoogoo.
One of the most distinctive synthpop groups of the 80s was Ultravox – always been fascinated by that snazzy sci-fi name!
They had several classic vids, but this was the best ‘cos it was the most exciting.
Great camaraderie among the group in this highly adventurous vid; plus, the director has even wrangled a way to include Midge Ure’s addiction to hang-gliding as well – huzzah!
You do realise that between 0:30-0:39 you will witness the Greatest Moment in Pop Video History:
“Say, we can act if we want to If we don’t, nobody will And you can act real rude and totally removed And I can act like an imbecile” – Men Without Hats.
And they say that back in the day this fella was a heartthrob? Wild Boys? Too wild fer me, man…
Still, a darn sight better than the talentless cretins the “music industry” foist upon us nowadays, but hey! Promised there would be NO argy-bargy on this Post.
The only mildly offensive material you may encounter here is a very dodgy shoulder pad or two.
You really couldn’t get anyone less offensive than Kate Bush.
Despite being perceived as a tad uncool back in the day, this video has always affected me in a good way. Part of the charm here is a wonderful cameo from Donald Sutherland, and guess what!
Managed to accompany this vid with a gif from cult classic teen vamp shocker:The Lost Boys, which features Donald’s son Kiefer.
Ha, Brad amazes even himself sometimes!
“You spin me right round, baby Right round like a record, baby Right round, round, round” – Dead Or Alive.
Look at this!
With spiky blond hair and bum fluff, THIS is EXACTLY how Brad looked in 1987!
Seriously!
Even at college, the most common thing people in the street asked me happened to be: “Could I have your autograph, Kiefer?”
In 1985, the Sisters of Mercy were a standard dark Goth band, but with the breakthrough Floodland LP in 1987, they became a bigger and better phenomenon. With a steady stream of hit singles, each came with its own elaborate video.
Here, with Dominion, we see what 80s videos excelled at: amazing photography, exotic location shots and iconic moments. This is the most unlikely place to find a saxophone! But then again, anything and everything could work during the 80s.
Here, Andrew Eldritch never looked cooler.
And Patricia Morrison never looked hotter.
“Karma Karma Karma Karma, Karma Chameleon You come and go, you come and go Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dream Red gold and green, red gold and green” – Culture Club.
Dominating BBC TV schedules every Thursday night used to be Top Of The Pops.
If a pop group wanted to boost sales they could do no better than be featured on this show. Sure, all appearances were mimed, the presenters would sometimes bombard audiences with the most appalling puns, and the audience invariably consisted of morons who believed that hogging the cameras was the ONE aim in life, but it became – undeniably – a National Treasure.
Loved the exotic Eastern sounds of Blancmange’s Living On The Ceiling. Fondly remenber this as one of my all-tive fave TV moments, and feeling aggrieved that (being, at that time, withouta VCR) there would never be another chance to watch this ever again…
“Buying bread from a man in Brussels He was six foot four and full of muscles I said, “Do you speak-a my language?” He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich” – Men At Work.
Now, something to enrich your viewing pleasure!
My American friends will be unaware of this lil gem – the main reason why Brad hardly did any of his school homework! Or his chores! (Whatever they were…)
“Cthulhu for kids” as one bright spark remarked. The narrator: Willie Rushton was a talented writer/satirist and his distinctive voice worked perfectly.
Who needs CGI when you can do wonders with plasticine?!
With the revelation that Drut spelt backwards is turd, the hilarity lasted for WEEKS – aah, happy times…
“I feel peculiar…”
“Hold a chicken in the air Stick a deckchair up your nose Buy a jumbo jet And then bury all your clothes Paint your left knee green Then extract your wisdom teeth Form a string quartet And pretend your name is Keith” – Spitting Image.
With film reviews, comic round-ups, fiction, and now 80s Club Nights (WAHEY!!) you can’t deny that Brad is one groovy gaff at which to hang out!
Whatever lousy mood you may find yourself in, trust me, put on this next vid by the Thompson Twins (hey, there’s three of ’em, ha!) and a big, contented grin will always be guaranteed.
“Dance, boy; dance, boy!”
“Wake me up before you go-go
Don’t leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you go-go
‘Cause I’m not plannin’ on going solo” – Wham.
And how could we end this Post without including Bill Murray?!
Honestly, it was either him or Molly Ringwald…
“I ain’t afraid of no gif”
Well, what vids did you/do you enjoy the most from the 80s?
“It’s unlike the first movie in so many ways. It’s wild, it’s daring…” – James Gunn.
“It’s high on its own supply,” stated one discouraging early review.
But hey! That’s no bad thing, ‘cos Brad is high on believing that Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 is another veritable smash hit for Marvel! Everybody enjoyed the original – this reviewer included, especially captivated by the wisecracking hamster/monkey/puppy, as you can see here.
Rather than copy all that was awesome and entertaining from the original, this sequel attempts to expand – on the largest scale possible! Plus, just about every riotous and rambunctious scene is ram-packed with a delirious spectrum of candy colours.
Kicking off not long after the end of the first movie, our beloved bunch have to deal with a typically gooey reject from the Men In Black franchise for Ayesha, Gold Leader of the Sovereign race. Due to the uncompromising wiles (and winks!) of the unscrupulous Rocket – stealing batteries?! BAD hamster! – they escape with Sovereign remotely-piloted drones (in a wacky swipe at vintage arcade gaming!) darting after the Milano. In a bizarre twist, the Guardians are saved by the intervention of an ancient and mysterious celestial entity, who ends up providing a substantial emotional heft to these chaotic proceedings.
“Now the expectations are very high, so there’s more pressure… I still think we’re going to surpass expectations, but it’s going to be monumentally different…” – Chris Pratt.
You just gotta dig the snazzy ingredients that constitute the Guardians formula: a groovy opening credits sequence; madcap action; quirky humour; and zingin’-an’-a-pingin’ cosmic thrills presented in a whopping great fun and frenetic package!
Well done to James Gunn for creating a script exploring – within such a mainstream blockbuster – the intriguing psychodynamics of family tensions and, in addition, it’s (g)rooted in how the Guardians find the belonging they crave – developing their own adoptive family unit.
Cool to see the Ravagers again, but even better to see Kraglin – one of the first film’s underrated supporting figures! – receive a more meaty role this time around. But praise for Michael Rooker! Another terrific outing for Yondu – who knew this red-finned dude would provide some of this sequel’s funniest and most powerfully moving moments?!
Oh yes, the Stan Lee cameo is hilarious – one of his best! And for this Marvel fanboy: a great surprise to see the Watchers as well!
Inevitably, the biggest scene-stealer is the smallest “Guardian”: Baby Groot, in turns a tricksy twig and soppy sapling.
We all want one! Don’t we?!
“I have the biggest fin because I’m the coolest dude. You will see, in the process of the film, how that comes about“ – Michael Rooker.
Sure, Vol. 2 had no hope of matching its predecessor: an unexpected smash that set the bar so enjoyably high, but it certainly did pile on lots to relish, but…
Let’s get the niggles outta the way.
One of the weakest points of the first movie is now the primary problem of the second. The only viable reason for bringing Nebula back involved developing her character, but – ho-hum, once again – all she can do is bitch and brood – her presence here is even more pointless than three years ago…
Again, Zoe Saldana spent more time getting her face painted than being allowed to expand Gamora’s character…
Really wanted to like Mantis, but she came across as too fizzy and fragile. Her interactions with Drax undoubtedly came cursed with the movie’s poorest lines.
Yes! Sylvester Stallone is more unintelligible than ever…
Naturally, there is still more bickering than actual guarding going on, but hey! That just adds to the charm of the whole caboodle.
But please! Spare me the David Hasselhoff-was-Peter’s-childhood-icon crap. And that frickin’ cameo! Jeez, really wanna unsee THAT…
What, you imagined… he was your Dad?!
You got issues, Quill…
“Only someone like me could pull something likethis off…” – Kurt Russell.
To think that Pratt’s own suggestion led to the one and only Kurt Russell being cast as Ego The Living Pranet – a quite formidable opponent who, back in the day, certainly kept Thor – even Galactus! – “occupied”!
Not as badass as Snake Plissken; not as cool as R.J. Macready, Russell’s Ego – ha! love typing that – is nevertheless an unforgettable monster. Thankfully a more substantial antagonist than Ronan The Accuser! Uff, celestials make rotten Dads, but as our awestruck gaze sweeps across that sumptuous vista, you can’t help but think: that is a handsome planet…
Kurt Russell, the star of Stargate, and doughty white-vested hero of Big Trouble In Little China, is an undeniable icon of SF cinema, and thus certainly adds the necessary style and gravitas here.
The interaction between this father and son is engrossing, until a shocking revelation leads to Peter unleashing his Pac of tricks.
In conclusion then, this movie is an absolute blast!
From the dashing 1980 Russell beaming at Meredith (and listening to Brandy), to the gargantuan finale, Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 delivers just the right level of energy and escapism to ensure the quintessential cinema experience.
Even digged that Mary Poppins gag you never knew you needed!
And the tantalising hint from the post-creds indicating the appearance of one of my Top 5 All-Time Fave Marvel Cosmic Characters in Vol. 3 sounds like the next instalment could be even bigger!
“Oh… YEAH!”
BRADSCRIBE RATING:3 Ooga-Chakas outta 5
“‘Rocket do this, Rocket do that…!'” – Rocket Raccoon.
No raccoons or sentient trees were harmed in the making of this Post.
“A quest… You humans love quests and epics… romantic notions… absurdities which clutter your lives and distort your base realities!” – The High Overlord.
NIX OLYMPIA VOLCANO, MARS – DECEMBER 2019
“He had touched the blade of grass… and it turned to red Martian dust beneath his hands. The sand shifts through his fingers now, and Killraven knows for a certainty that the desert he kneels upon is located on the planet Mars.
“He is alone with that truth – and the truth is staggering!”
But what is truly staggering is that how a comic entitled: War Of The Worlds featuring Wellsian Martians (on giant tortoiseback, by gad!), alien vistas and high adventure on the Fourth Rock From The Sun with a Terran hero bestriding the russet landscape sportin’ thigh-high boots could turn (on?!) out to be so…
disappointing.
Killraven: ha! Now there’s a name ta die for!
Isn’t it…?
With the right creative team, this should have developed into a hit – at least a cult classic, but no…
As a fan of all things Martian, hopes that #36 (May 1976) would be a joy to behold were running high, until the reaction was so low. No prizes for guessing that this title was cancelled after only 30+ ishs…
Anyway! Welcome back to the weird wonderful world of Bradscribe – apologies for the delay since the last Post, but things have been hectic around here.
Once more unto the back issue boxes, dear friends!
Undoubtedly the highlight of Summer ’16 involved delving into the treasures of Bronze Age comics – that exceedingly special time from c. 1970 (curiously estimated with the debut ish of ConanThe Barbarian of all things) up until the mid-’80s (and the death of Jean Grey?) when some exceptional titles were produced. At the most, taking advantage of the opportunity to catch up with some truly remarkable writers and artists; pleasantly acquire previously unknown titles; and dip nostalgically into editions that used to belong in my bedroom but for whatever outlandish reason got lost in the mists of time has transmogrified into an enjoyable and worthwhile venture.
For me, the Bronze Age happened to be the best period for comic books. Killraven – for all its faults – demonstrates how experimental and innovative Marvel Comics could be during the 1970s.
Here then are some of the special ishs that have accumulated in my specially-reserved box this past few months:
“The brute still lives! Such ineffable strength and longevity are almost beyond my experience and bear further study at The Project!” – The Hate-Monger.
“The first rays of the crescent moon found the blood-red pendant grafted to JohnJameson’s throat and he becomes a beast: Man-Wolf!”
Yes, yes, we covered that lupine moonbeast here: but that was too long ago, and quite frankly,he deserves more blogspace – for he is an extraordinary character simply never available on the Southern English newsstands of my youth. And it is a pleasure to finally catch up with his stunning series.
From ish #30,Man-Wolf became the sole principal star of Creatures On The Loose, until beingcancelled (with ish #37 back in 1975). Ish #35: Wolfquest (May 1975) is – rip-roaring sci-fi action/adventure at its 70s best.
“David Kraft wrote it; George Perez drew it; you get to read it!” says the text on the groovy front page. There is also an ace cameo from Colonel Nick Fury (one of my all-time fave comic book characters) – “Sonuvagun if it ain’t!” – and Dum Dum Dugan!
As penultimate pages go, this – the death of the Hate-Monger is as awesome and intense as Bronze Age comic art gets – proudly loaded up here (above).
Can’t help thinking what Perez would have done with Killraven…
And there was no way that Col. Fury’sdramatic entrance could not be included here:
Nick Fury: “Dum Dum, ya big walrus, quit flounderin’ and folla me!”
Dum Dum Dugan: “Fergit it, Nick – I ain’t goin’ nowhere without my blamed Derby!”
Thanos: “Would you believe I’m doing all this out of the goodness of my heart?”
Adam Warlock:“No, for I perceive that you have no heart!”
Like the BA gem listed above, (The Power Of) Warlock was also cancelled in its prime, but Adam, the golden-hued character himself made such an indelible impression on my infant mind.
More tragically, the original series lasted no more than just 15 ishs. Ironically, Warlock – “By Orion!” – has attained hallowed cult status and is extremely difficult to come by; when my sensors did detect odd editions, the going rate seemed ridiculously high. So finding that immortal classic: Warlock #10: How Strange My Destiny (December 1975) (for a thankfully ridiculously low price!) proved to be an exceptional find.
The first part of the acclaimedMagus Saga in which Adam makes an uneasy alliance with notorious bad seed: Thanos in his showdown with the Magus. It also features Gamora (of Guardians of the Galaxy fame!) and Pip The Troll (who – judging from the letters pages – became a sensation among Marvelites far and wide!)
Thanos – and (let’s be honest) even Pip The Troll – would have swept the floor with Killraven…
As Adamrealizes with horror: “My mind is a cesspool of corruption that will someday spawn the Magus” – the Magus is Adam Warlock’s future self!
Blimey Charley, what a humdinger!
“25,000 armed Black Knights just to kill four unarmed intruders?! The Magus must be cracking up! Wish I had 50,000 instead of a mere 25,000…” – General Egeus.
Captain Marvel:“There’s Titan, Drax – it won’t be long now. But why so silent? What are you thinking about?”
Drax The Destroyer: “About how difficult it may be, once our alliance is ended… to kill you!”
Hankering for more galactic thrills, it seemed inevitable that Marvel’s spaceborn “most cosmic superhero of all” – the original Kree warrior: Mar-Vell – would get snapped up.
Eager to find out more, an excellentadditional feature of Warlock #10 – an insert in which Captain Marvel explains the background (and threat!) of his arch-enemy: Thanos. Usefully, it noted #s 25-33 as the classic ishs in which the two legendary characters went head-to-head.
Initially, Marvel Spotlight #2 (featuring Captain Marvel)came into my hands fairly early on during this hunting season. However, Pat Broderick’s art style failed to alight the Bradmonitor. Not to be outdone, a chance was taken with Captain Marvel #59 (November 1978). Despite retaining Broderick’s pencils, The Trouble With Titan actually offered a more satisfying look, mainly because of the special guest star appearance by Drax The Destroyer.
“By the Lost Horns of Hala!”
The outlandish contents involve Mar-Vell and Drax having to rescue Eros and Mentor from being “menaced by what manner of monsters, only the the Great Pama knows!” And trespassing in the domain of Lord Gaea – and having to fight their way through his hordes of Earth-Demons to escape! Written by Doug Moench – always a reliable choice (so why couldn’t he have worked on Killraven…?)
Have already picked up further ishs, but so far, #s 25-33 are proving to be elusive…
In conclusion, me lovelies, it should be pointed out that – in a sale, just to be on the safe side! – another ish of Killraven WAS acquired. And lo,BradThe Merciful steps in to grant the underachievers a second chance, but…
Ha! Guess what?
Despite having a fascinating splash page, #35 (March 1976) is bogged down with an even more confusing plot; moreover, he grumbles, the addition of an insipid Martian character and a deranged, scantily-clad woman spouting interminable gibberish does NOT guarantee rewarding reading!
So, it’s official then: Killraven is PANTS….
Not gonna let this absurdity distort my base realities!
But heck! Let’s not end on a bum-note.
As Confucius used to say: “If you’ve got time for one more cake, you’ve bally well got time for one more comic!”
Hey! Looks like yours truly has got just the right thing:
“Alas, Iron Fist, you havemy sympathy. No man should be spurned by a beautiful woman and fall in battle on the same day!” – El Aguila.
Last and – well, really! Is anyone nuts enough to say: “least” to Luke Cage’sface?! – we have Marvel’s very own dynamic duo: Power Man and Iron Fist.
This is such a nifty break from my usual cosmic cravings, and besides, back in the day, one ishdid pass through me grubby infant mitts, but Brad‘ll be damned if he can recall the exact one! Never fear, random back ishs have been selected, and are turning out to be an unexpected fab treat!
#65: “An Eagle In The Aerie” (Oct 1980) is great fun. En route to the Aerie (HQ of Heroes For Hire), Luke and Danny are followed by old adversary: El Aguila and – “Santa Maria!” – half the staff of all-female guards have revolted and all three costumed heroes have to defend the Aerie from all-out assault.
El Aguila leaps and bounds suavely through battle, firing bursts of his biologically-generated electricity through his sword while exclaiming: “Believe me, senoritas, doing this hurts my heart as much as it does your lovely bodies.”
Before Luke and Danny can get a word in,the Eagle escapes in a helicopter, but not before smooching the secretary.
Ah, they don’t make masked men of mystery like that any more…
If only Killraven oozed just half the charm of El Aguila…
Been searching for ish #58 (El Aguila’s initial appearance) but – not surprisingly – it is rare and expensive.
Finally, could notresist including this intriguing lil cameo from another Marvel stalwart:
Iron Fist: “You’re up early, Luke. How did you sleep?”
Power Man:“Kept dreamin’ ’bout floods an’ tidal waves.”
Iron Fist: “Sorry about the waterbed.”
Originally, this Post began back in September(!), revised in November, but it has taken the last few gruelling days just to finally launch this draft – well, anything really! – into the blogosphere.
Relieved, rather than pleased, to have accomplished some writing again.
Meanwhile, quite a considerable comics collection has amassed here over the past few months – therefore CANNOT WAIT to discuss, in a flurry of forthcoming Posts, the juiciest finds with you!
So, while the world falls apart, this:
…is where you’ll find me: the “Leisure Hive” @ Brad Manor.
Happy hunting, True Believers!
You would NOT BELIEVE what you can get for 60 Portions these days…
The Mighty Galactic Federation Has Finally Fallen To The Rotten Zandokan Hordes – Who Will Save Our Cake Now?!
A StandaloneBradventure. Which Means That Brad Ain’t In This One…
“What the-?! If not, why not, eh?! Uff, typical… NEVER invited ta anyfink. Especially at this time a’ year… Can’t even wrangle me way into me own blog?! Jeez, the ‘ole galaxy’s gone NUTS…”
“Well I could call out when the going gets tough. The things that we’ve learnt are no longer enough” – Ian Curtis.
“The cosmos is in chaos…” Ajaan Rajendra uttered in grim realization. “That much is certain. We could see, helplessly, how wracked with turmoil the Federation had become, but to learn that it has indeed crumbled under Zandokan might is… unbelievable…”
The warrior-monk-turned-Rebel Leader sat cross-legged, having meditated in twilight on a rocky promontory overlooking the Amethyst Sea.
His most trusted officer: Commander Alda Vareldt kept an impatient watch, a few yards opposite. With him, a few other bedraggled Rebels waited anxiously.
Behind them, the towers of Dhoby Ghaut Spaceport – its bars and canteens once brimming with noise and good cheer – stood eerily silent that evening.
“We came to collect you, Ajaan,” Alda spat agitatedly. “It’s only a matter of time before the Zandokan fighters arrive.Sorry, sir, but we’ve got ta pull out, pronto.”
They piled into their Stalwart Land Ranger and it passed swiftly through the wastelands of Gundagan…
“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders” – Lao Tzu.
“BEHOLT! ZE POWAIR COZMEEC!” Zan Doka cried manicly as he cradled the stupendous intensity of galactic brilliance between his bionic hands.
Recollections of that regrettable last encounter flooded back to Ajaan as the monotony of the drive set in.
“Duzn’t eet thrill you, Ajaan? Zuch powair eez now rightfully mine! At ze vanguard of our all-out azzault, may army veell be eenveencible! Finally! Ze rotten Federationveell fall unto ME! …Durn’t tell me you’re not imprezzed, Ajaan…”
“Very well. I shall spare you that little victory. But there is something from you I need to know: all that talk of enriching the well-being of the galaxy, why suddenly blight such worth with despicable endeavours and this deplorable empire-building? What makes you think you can succeed?!”
“Mark may wudz, Ajaan of Hygge! Nurbuddy praizez ze goot soul-“
“I would – I would be there to encourage you to do so much more good-“
“Nur! Crush ze Federation and squeeze all eetz corrupt gnats within may totalitarian rule! Then, all those lezzer beingz who zought to mock me would cowair end grovel! THEES eez whut Ay aim to create! Wunce may Empah eez complete, Ay veel veezeet you urn Hygge, end show you howze grandezt zchemes KEN be accurmpleeshed!
“Mark them… end mark them well. Ay shell be zeeing you egen zooner then you theenk, heh heh…”
“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe” – Marcus Aurelius.
On the verge of the ancient Bodhi Temple, their transport came to an abrupt halt. Their cruiser stood in the compound at the rear. While Raj’s group squatted on its age-old steps, Kelly tried to open a comlink with the Calista Blockhead.
“We need Brad Company right here! Right now!”
A hologram materialized, but in place of the fabled cake-scoffer, his right-hand man: ‘Arris Wrench appeared in his stead.
“Blazes, ‘Arris! Where’s Brad?!”
“…Er, not ‘ere. ‘E’s ‘ad ta skedaddle back to his homeworld for a ritual that most of his planet’s population must observe this month every year for the foreseeable future.”
Wha-? I thought that idiot Brad was too cool for hokey religions…”
“Look, we’re all stretched at the mo. The Zandokans launched offensives on FIVE fronts, all at once. Me an’ th Co. barely scraped through that skirmish at Dork’s Drift!”
“Okay, we need immediate evac! Can you-“
The Calista Engineer’s deflated sigh said it all:
“Soz, Kells, but there is NO WAY we can get there in time! Ya’ll just have ta-”
At that moment, the signal crackled out.
“They’ve cut us off!” Deke Dolmec cried in dismay.
“Blazes…” Kelly frowned. “Observe? What could he be watching?!”
“Gah! He’s the original loose cannon.NEVER there when ya need ‘im,” Alda growled disconsolately.
“Yeah…” Kelly smiled wryly. “Bit of a rogue one, isn’e…?!”
“The Empires of the future are the Empires of the mind” – Winston Churchill.
“That’s it,” huffed Alda dejectedly. “We’re gonna havta get past the Imperial Lightning Field… on our own-“
“Ah no!” Kelly cried. “We’re gonna ‘ave company anyway! Sensors detect THREE Zerpent Kruizers are closin’ in on this sector!”
“LANDO’S TEETH! That’s not all!” Deke blurted as his quadcorder flashed ominously. “It’s the ‘Ead ‘Ombre ‘imself! The Imperial Zentinel is comin’!”
“As I anticipated – ’tis Zan Doka – none of you are a match for him; I must face him… alone. You must go now, my friends; proceed to Kazjgar. Do as I command and rally our disparate rebel factions. Co-ord the counteroffensive-“
“But what about you, Master?!” Yala, one of his brightest students, was not ready to let go. “We will not leave you at the hands of this… this merciless-!”
As he gave her a reassuring hug, the great Ajaan Rajendra addressed his Followers:
“Fret not, Zan Doka comes to gloat… only,” Rajendra blinked his bulbous eyes. “I sense that he will not kill me… at least, not on this visit…”
They all looked dejected.
“My friends – remember: do not let your hearts… and minds… be troubled. Be aware; be mindful through space. And time. Do not dwell for too long on the sufferings of the Federated Planets. You are… all blessed with great resilience! Now, you must leave. There can be no delay!”
They filed out, some smiling nervously at the Rebel Leader, afraid to accept that this could be the last time they saw this beloved ol’ Yanduri alive.
Ajaan started to move into the temple; Alda lunged forward, whispering:
“Why don’t you come with us, Ajaan… now?! I am lost without y-“
The Leader smiled sweetly, and clasped his hands on Alda’s shoulders.
“I know you, Alda… it is most unlike you to despair. For all your talk of great leaders…”
Ajaan’s grip tightened.
“Be one!!”
“If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles” – Sun Tzu.
The infamous buzz of the Zentinel’s ion engines shattered the dusty air above the Bhoja Temple.
Rajendra knelt beside the fountain in the courtyard… waiting.
Draped in his priestly hooded cloak, he observed the vessel’s descent and a battalion of Shokk troopers disperse. Down the ramp, borne on a wave of suffocating arrogance, the new Ruler of the Universe marched forth. A malevolent grin emerged from beneath elaborate Imperial headgear as the Zandokan Emperor recognised the Ajaan of Hygge.
Rajendra rose to his feet and shifted back his hood; Zan Doka strode in, rubbing his bionic hands together in glee.
“Hail thee, AjRaj – Defendair of Ze Lozt Cauze!Ha ha,how ya doin’?”
“I was having a good day…” the Yanduri moaned and beckoned the Emperor to follow him back into the temple.
“Ya, uv courz! Yo really hef to sharpen yer inzults eef yo weesh ta eemprezz yer Nemezzeez!”
Ajaan abruptly halted; Zan Doka stopped to gleer at his archenemy.
“By the Silver Shards of Callifrax, Zan, what have you done? You and your accursed empire – the galaxy is tearing itself apart,”
“Urn ze contrairy, fool, unlike uther would-be zupairveellainz who could only brag about what they would do with great power, Ay hef achieved whut Ay zet out to do!”
“Nay, the Power Cosmic has driven you mad… Why come back? You detest this planet – you said so, many times. What, getting cramp lounging on your misbegotten throne for too long?”
Zan Doka halted, staring up at the bewitching ceiling of the Inner Sanctum.
“Cunning old toad! Ay come beck to tell you WUN theeng: Ay tuld yo zo! Yo ken muztair a thouzand zquadronz, conzolidet dozairns uv mavereek worldz AGENZT ME – warp ze Powair Cozmeec – heh! Eef you ken…! But from the perilous heightz of the Moggadorr Mountainz to the zcintillating shores of the Crystal Zea of Izmeer, mah Empah shall ENDURE EETERNAL! Heh… I tuld yo zo….”
“Uff, spare me your insufferable monologuing, dotard,” Rajendra bowed his head in shame.
“Ah…! Ay zenze… yer beetternezz – end… mebbe a pen that gnaws et ze vairy core uv yer being… What eez eet, Ay vonder? What ailz thee…?”
Rajendra slowly looked up, his eyes ablaze with mystic fury:
“I spent some time in your system monitoring your television transmissions. I learned all aboutEarth’s culture from watching sitcoms” – Sphinxor.
“You have teleported me here to talk,” the being known as the High Evolutionary protested. “To discuss why my planet has been stolen. I await your answer.”
“My Ring-Shippers and I were contracted to move your planet by a race of beings called the Beyonders,” replied Sphinxor, Captain of the Ringship 1, Command Vessel of the Prime Movers of Tarkus.
“They became aware of your experimental world while you were collecting the extra-dimensional mass to build it… This Warlock fellow looked to be a problem…”
Yes! That’s Adam Warlock, the golden-skinned cosmic hero, and the primary reason for picking up what has turned out to be a quite scintillating ish of Marvel 2-In-1 (#63, May 1980).TheThing, Moon-Dragon and Starhawk team up to help save Counter-Earth.
Mark Gruenwald (writer), Jerry Bingham (artist) and Gene day (inker) “join forces to concoct the wildest cosmic adventure ever!”
In this Summer’s voracious surge for Bronze Age delights, the overwhelming theme has been: cosmic. So what is it about cosmic comics that make them so enthralling?
Apart from tapping into that lifelong fascination with outer space (with which most of you would concur, right?), the joys of galactic adventures, bedecked with multitudes of weird and wonderful extraterrestrials, with supercool blasters and gleaming star cruisers is veritably the fuel on which traditional SF runs.
There are numerous reasons for why cosmic comics will forever be the best in my book (or blog).
^ Page 10 of Marvel 2-In-1 #63 shows plenty of stellar action to satisfy anybody’s cosmic cravings.
“From what we’ve been told, the Beyonders may be more powerful than any beings yet encountered by man – greater than Galactus, the Watcher, Thanos… any of them. As a scientist, I am curious” – The High Evolutionary.
The cosmic brand of story-line holds greater appeal, primarily as the imagination is allowed the freedom to run a tad wilder. Moreover, this scintillating subgenre features some of the coolest and most powerful characters in the known Marvel Universe.
Not to mentionthe biggest – take (on) Galactus (if you dare!).
Asked who the most powerful character in the Marvel Universe could be, Stan Lee did not hesitate to answer: “Galactus, without a doubt.”
Undoubtedly, the cream of the cosmos has to be “The Coming of Galactus” which appeared in Fantastic Four # 48-50.
But what are the chances of acquiring this series and NOT breaking the bank…?
Our old friend John Byrne contributed exceptionally to the cause ofcosmic awesomeness by creating “The Trial of Galactus” which sprawls across Fantastic Four # 242-44; 252-55; and 257-62. Have already set my sights on them, regardless of my indifference to Reed Richards…
As a huge fan of Rom The Spaceknight – keen to pick up some of his classic cosmic escapades – Galactus actually appears in ish no. 26(!)
By Jove, the Bradmonitor lit up spectacularly when that news filtered through!
Minions! To the Bradmobile!
You’ll be pleased to know that they have already been dispatched forthwith across the quadrant to track THAT ONE down.
“Fascinating. I’m in outer space, yet my costume automatically creates an energy field that not only protects me from the deadly cold and radiation… but provides me with a breatheable atmosphere as well” – Ms. Marvel.
One of the classic cosmic stories – essential to anyone’s collection – would have to be The Magus Saga.
Featured in Strange Tales #s 178-81 and Warlock – yes! him again – # 9-11, it’s the reason why Adam Warlock is one of Marvel’s most intriguing protagonists. (If you don’t believe me, check the heaving prices of individual ishs charged by some of yer leading local Awemongers…)
Have already picked up some back ishs of Future Tense, a weekly comic produced by Marvel UK back in 1980; they include some reprints of early Adam Warlock stories. Fabulous stuff, but they only make me crave more of the Warlock.
My mission to find more Ms. Marvel continues apace, and has turned up some surprisingly cosmic results.
#3: “The Lady’s Not For Killing” featured the Kree-powered superwoman flying into space on an intercept vector to prevent a missile from diving into the Kennedy Space Center. Upon finding an access hatch, what should spring out but the Doomsday Man!
Bingo – the same robot supposedly destroyed by the Silver Surfer way back when. Cue a bout of feisty female fisticuffs (in orbit).
Written faultlessly as always by Chris Claremont, and amazingly imagineered by the invincible John Buscema it’s another great addition to the collection.
Groovy.
And there’s been no opp here to squeal about the Mighty Thor’s cosmic scrapes. Particularly that epic in which Galactus must call for Thor’s help in tackling a galactic foe which evenhe cannot smite…(!)
More mouthwatering delights yet to materialise here on Bradscribe!
Stay tuned: same Brad time! Same Brad channel!
Meanwhile, back on that orbiting planetoid…
“…We simply set up our stasis-rings and took off with Counter-Earth in tow…” Sphinxor droned on bureaucratically. “We kindly refer you to the Beyonders for any questions pertaining to what they intend to do with your world, okay?”
“Then…” frowned the High Evolutionary. “You do not even know why they want my world?”
“That’s not my job, man.”
“It just gives me the willies, bein’ taken apart atom by atom and bein’ put back together somewhere else” – The Thing.
What Better Way To Celebrate 50 Years Since The Starship Enterprise First Set Out On Its Mission To Explore Strange New Worlds?
“This is damned peculiar…” – Admiral James T. Kirk.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”
While on a school holiday camp in 1983, me, and me room-mate, both HUGE Star Wars fans, thought it might be a good laff to go and watch Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. After all, the laughably-monickered: Star Trek: The Motion(?!) Picture had famously failed to resonate with fans and critics alike; this would be just something to “pass the time.”
BLIMEY! HOW WRONG WE WERE…
Back in the day, the original TV series went out at 6pm on Monday evenings – something to watch while eating dinner, no more. Personally – in the year in which Star Trek celebrates its 50th Anniversary – some of the original scripts, not to mention most of those costume designs(!), have not stood the test of timewell.
But Star Trek II did exceptionally well to entice and surprise the neutrals such as myself and convince us that the GeneRoddenberry Universe could offer its own wonders…
From the moment that Ricardo Montalban reveals himself as the genetically-engineered KhanNoonian Singh on Ceti Alpha V and starts fiddling with those gruesomeCeti Alpha eels (NOT to be watched with your Monday evening dinner…) you just knew that these proceedings were turning out to be a decidedly different – and more intriguing –Trek than usual – certainly several Warp Factors more sensational than what this ongoing mission had served up for us before…
“He tasks me! He tasks me and I shall have him! I’ll chase him round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares Maelstrom and round Perdition’s flames before I give him up…” – Khan Noonian Singh.
Alas,the Motion Picture failed partly due to baring no resemblance to the legendary TV series that spawned it. However, by reintroducing one of the series’ more charismatic villains, from the 1966 episode: Space Seed, the stage was set for an epic showdown.
Sure, at once, Khan made very much an 80s villain – big hair and big pecs – and as Shatner and Montalban both exuded larger-than-life characters, thescenes they shared together were electrifying, reslting in some of the best exchanges in SF cinema.
Acquired a movie magazine from 1982 this week, containing two articles about this movie, including a review by a self-avowed Trekkie who thought it“stunk.” Apart from having “a silly script,” he remarked that Montalban‘s performance as Khan was “so outrageously over the top, it threatened to go over the edge.”
What rot!
Charismatic yet dastardly, Khan is actually one of the great SF villains – now universally regarded as such. Goodness knows what said same hack makes of some of the lacklustre villains we have had to endure in recent big screen offerings!
To hell with the fact that Ensign Chekov didn’t even appear in the original Space Seed episode so wouldn’t have recognised the significance of Botany Bay!
Look past this obvious goof and get immersed in the flawless and endlessly riveting outer space action! Also mercifully extricated was the first film’s inexplicable predilection for dentist uniforms; sure, in 1979, that sort of thing would have been expected, but in 1982 – the year that also brought us Blade Runner, Tron and The Dark Crystal (remember that?!) – big and bold visions were the IN thing.
“Admiral, the Commander of the Reliant is signalling. He wishes to discuss terms of our surrender…” – Lt. Uhura.
While there could not have been any Trek movie without the phenomenal success of Star Wars, again, one redeeming fault of the Motion Picture was the banal – and, quite frankly, tedious – way in which it tried to be too cerebral. Good to see this sequel jettison all that.
Glorious galactic spectacle was not enough though; some major Star Wars-style action scenes were required. And some top-notch battle sequences were added. The initial attack of the Reliant was superbly handled – as you can see here:
…As was the Battle in the Mutara Nebula.
Over thirty years later, these effects still look remarkably special,but let’s face it: would they havebeen exhilarating without the stirring score supplied by the late great James Horner? Probably not…
And, after all this time, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is still the yardstick by which all new Star Trek movies are judged.
Will the brand new Star Trek: Beyond be able to sit comfortably beside it?
We shall see…
“I have been, and always shall be, your friend” – Spock.
Obviously, the great twist: SPOCK DIES was such a bold move.
Although neither of us avidly watched the series, we understood how integral to the series format its token Vulcan officer was, and applauded this incredibly bold move to kill him off…
Apparently, there was only ever to be these two movies, and to have one of the central characters meethis end seemed the only (ahem) logical way to end it all. This scene – according to Hollywood legend – was the only reason that Leonard Nimoy agreed to reprise his most famous role anyway. It still puts a lump in my throat every time it comes on – a superbly acted and directed sequence.
Such a shame that the huge box office success of Wrath Of Khan meant that Star Trek III had to go ahead. And with one of the most ludicrously contrived plots ever committed to film as well!
What would modern SF cinema look like today if the Trek franchise had ended with the view of Spock’s coffin on Genesis…?
“Are you out of your Vulcan mind? No human can tolerate the radiation that’s in there!” – Dr. McCoy.
The Bradscribe Awards 2015: What Was Best: Maz, Max, Mish Or Machina?
“The academy may pride itself on its history, but the world around it is changing, and unless it begins to reflect these changes, I can see the Oscars ceasing to be of any relevance to a growing and vocal new generation of artists who see it as a relic of the old world” – David Harewood.
Hello and welcome to the Bradscribe Awards!
As we were blessed with a year brimming with various cinematic nuggets to choose from, it’s only fair to review it in ourown lavish ceremony.And besides, many of you have been wondering – especially as this site has slagged off more than its fair share of crud these past twelve months – what actually managed to impress me during 2015!
One thing you can be certain about the Bradscribe Awards – activated to honour the criminally-overlooked field of science fiction: they are bright and visionary. And diverse. Nominees can be black, brown, blue or green. Or shiny and chrome.
Also, there’s lots of cake on offer…
Why Don’t The Oscars Celebrate SF?
“It is a genre that I think doesn’t get enough respect when you consider how many issues sci-fi brings up that we need to deal with” – Sigourney Weaver.
There seems to be an unwritten rule stipulating that science fiction – and fantasy, and horror, come to that – do not receive awards recognition in the main categories. Sure, the Academy recognises the technical achievements of this genre, but really, you can quite easily find some of the best scripts and acting in this continually innovative field.
In trying to sort this migraine out, trust longtime Bradscribe fave, Sigourney Weaver, to come to the rescue:
“The work being done in sci-fi is some of the most interesting, provocative work out there.”
Yet why should this genre tend to make little impact when Oscar season gets into full swing?
She has remarked how the Academy consists of “mostly people like me who are over a certain age” who tend to look for the “the more conventional movie.”
Uff, nuts to that.
Part of SF’s wonder is its ability to offer more unconventional thrills. Rather than get stuck in the same mundane, formulaic soup – which, let’s be honest,too many mainstream dramas do – the genre is experimental and challenging, vital components sought, surely, by the modern movie-goer.
Before launching into the main ceremony, here’s a little sketch to get you warmed up. Hey, it was either this, or a flashy-but-ultimately-pointless song-an’-dance extravaganza:
Without further ado, let’s get down to the essential categories:
Best SFX: Mad Max: Fury Road
Jurassic World just looked big;Star Wars: The Force Awakens looked impressive, but Namibia nabbed it.
Best Music Score: Mad Max: Fury Road
This would have been set aside for John Williams – continuing the fine tradition of classic scores for Star Wars – but on first viewing, the new score was barely discernible.
Best Original Screenplay: Ex Machina
Intellectually-stimulating sci-fi is what we crave at this site. Nominated for the Best Original Screenplay Oscar, how it did not win last night is my pet peeve of this year’s ceremony.
Congrats to Alex Garland, who made his directorial debut with this instant classic. Here, honestly, this Award was as predictable as that Titanic boy getting the Best Actor Oscar…
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Martian
Drew Goddard worked wonders with Andrew Weir’s novel.
Rising Star Of The Year
“It’s important that theconversation carries on… Everybody should be the change they want to see and go from there, but keep talking, keep doing” – John Boyega.
This Rogue Stormtrooper received most of the biggest laughs at the packed cinema this reviewer attended. While everybody is quite rightfully lauding Daisy Ridley as the new New Hope – an equally impressive entry to the SW galaxy, we should not overlook this young and promising boy from Peckham. The Oscars have, butBradhasn’t…
*
Let’s assess candidates for the Woman Of The Year and ManOf The Year:
Woman Of The Year
Always keen to catch strong and memorable women’s roles, especially in SF. However, there seemed to be fewernotable women’s roles on offer this year. Emilia Clarke should have brought in an exceptional Sarah Connor, but had weakmaterial with which to work; and Bryce Dallas Howard made a mark only by outrunning a T Rex. In high heels. Never gonna let that lie…
But who made it onto the final list?
Honestly, Sigourney should be here – for old times sake – but Chappie was so underwhelming; even she couldn’t make it bearable. Instead, we have plumped for:
5. Scarlet Witch
It was great to see Wanda Maximoff on the big screen at last, but so frustrating that she had so little to do, and had barely any “character” to develop sufficiently. Oh well, hope she gets more (worthy) screentime in the forthcoming Captain America: Civil War…
4. Maz Kanata
Maz is over one hundred years old, and she had – until those First Order loons swept in and trashed the place! – her own swell pad at which anyone in the galaxy can hang out; even got her own awesome statue outside it(!). She happens to possess Luke’s lightsaber, and also counts Chewie as her boyfriend.Way ta go, girl!
3. Imperator Furiosa
When Mad Max made his energising and explosive return to the big screen, little did anyone expect that Cherlize Theron would not only steal Immortan Joe’s War-Rig, but steal all the scenes in the year’s most explosive actionfest. Her presence was so seismic that the subtitle should have read:Furiosa Road.
2. Alicia Vikander
As Eva: the AI centre of attention in Ex Machina this Swedish actress made an immediate impact. And held her own against the big boys in The Man From UNCLE. Already looking forward to her next projects.
Congrats to Alicia for confounding the run of play by snatching the Best Supporting Actress gong; but really, she deserved the Best Actress Oscar. For a vastly more impressive picture…
This girl should go far. We hope.
1. Not surprisingly, the Real Greatest Woman of this – and, for that matter, every other – yearjust happens to be – unreservedly, wholeheartedly: Mrs. B, but seeing how we really should be talkin’ about movie stars (and me darlin’still won’t reverse that online pics ban) let’s move swiftly on.
But in case you’re still wondering, you can find the Woman Of The Yearhere:
And now, on to the:
Man Of The Year
5. Ant-Man.
Always a personal fave comic character, it seemed inconceivable how the tiniest Avenger could transfer easily onto the big screen. Initially, Paul Rudd looked like a disastrous case of miscasting, but he helped make this little movie the surprise package of the year.
4.Andy Serkis
The actor most synonymous with motion capture – who lit up the Bradmonitor when he first crawled onscreen as Gollum – not only brought us our new villain of the Dark Side: Supreme Leader Snoke, but a traditional live action nasty called Ullysses Klaw in Avengers:Age ofUltron.
Always a treat to watch,Serkis is the only reason to look forward to yet another Planet of the Apes sequel.
3.Kylo Ren
The villain of the long-awaited new Star Wars episode, had to make a rather special impact. Fotunately, Kylo Ren did just that. How many times has Brad replayed that scene of him staggering through the dark forest, then energising his lightsaber? Guess that correctly, dear reader, and YOU can have a slice of cake…
Best Supporting Actor Award for Adam Driver methinks?
2. Ultron
“Look at me! Do I look like Iron Man?!”
Traditionally a formidable villain in the Avengers comic, a certain degree of trepidation led up to the release of Avengers: Age of Ultron.
No worries! They got the look just right. Voiced malevolently by the Amazing Spader-Man, he turned out to be supercool as well as superbad! And he was blessed with oodles of great lines!
In any other year, Ultron would have stolen this category, but there was one fella who managed to impress me even more, and that was:
1. Oscar Isaac
“There’s some stuff he’s got in his tool set which is properly rare. Fierce talent, that’s what you want – and that’s exactly what Oscar’s got. You don’t need to be a filmmaker to see it” – Alex Garland.
You may be thinking this was staged so that yours truly could chortle: “And the oscar goes to Oscar!”
Ha ha, no really, ever since spotting him steal scenes from the Crowe way back in Ridley Scott’sotherwise lacklustre Robin Hood, Isaac has been carving a very special niche in modern movies. He gave one of the best performances of the year in Ex Machina, butPoe Dameron was woefully underused.
We just can’t wait to see him steal the show as the eponymous archvillain in X-Men: Apocalypse!
Right?
CrudOf The Year
“It was stupid. It was trash… It was not a flop that quietly came and went without anyone noticing. It got the disrespect it deserved” – Joe Queenan.
Gotta take the rough with the smooth, so they say, but even so…
It’s hard to believe, but 2015 still manage to serve up some particularly underwhelming duds. Rather than rant eloquently about the ever-dwindling standard of movie-making, let’s get these turkeys out of the way, sharpish:
Even presented with the offer of sitting through this abysmal cack for free, you still couldn’t entice me. Honestly, you would think Game Of Thrones adequately paid Peter Dinklage’s rent, so why did he have to get involved in this tragedy?
Let’s cheer ourselves up with the:
Magic Moments Of The Year
Well, bless my frickin’ quarnex battery! Here are the most awesome scenes to have graced our local popcorn parlours this past year:
5. 2015 Arnie vs. 1984 Arnie in Terminator: Genisys
You can’t beat nostalgia. A stylish nod to the classic scene from the original Terminator movie. If only the rest of the movie was as cool asthis.One to search for on Youtube only.
4. T Rex vs. Indominus Rex from Jurassic World
This fourth installment of the Dinoland franchise may not have wrangled its way onto my Best of The Year list, but the climactic scrap between these two giants evokes the spirit of the original Jurassic Park. An extra slice of cake for thatMosasaurus 😉 If anyone can get near it, that is…
3. Kylo Ren stops a laser blast in midair
So Snoke says Kylo needs tocomplete his training. If he can do that, his powers look pretty formidable to us!
2. That Ex Machina Dance
Just when you think you’re gonna bust some heavy-duty grey matter getting to grips with the premise of top class AI drama: Ex Machina, so Professor Isaac – really unexpectedly – teaches us how to cut up the dance floor – yeah! This was destined to be THE Magic Moment Of The Year, until we gawped at:
1. The Sandstorm from Mad Max: Fury Road
Let’s face it, all two hours of this exhilarating high-octane thrill-ride exudes movie magic of the highest calibre, but you can enjoy this classic scene right here:
And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! The cake!
Best Movie Of The Year
So, what provided the most outstanding viewingexperience of the year?
It was wonderful to be able to marvel at a new Star Wars movie, but although it was great to have new exciting characters and elements to savour, feelings that we were watching a retread of the 1977 original still filtered through.
The Martian certainly provided our happiest visit to the cinema together this past year.
Ex Machina is the solidly-written, well-crafted thought-provoking movie that the genre cries out for, but:
The frenetic energy, stunts, and sheer irresistible spectacle of Mad Max: Fury Roadclinches it!
Last, but not least, is the:
Outstanding Contribution To Film
Douglas Slocombe was a Britishcinematographer of exceptional skill. Some of his film credits:Kind Hearts And Coronets (1949), The Lavender Hill Mob (1951), The Italian Job (1969) and the Indiana Jones trilogy, read like a list from the Bradscribe Hall of Fame.
He passed away last Monday aged 103. As a tribute, here is perhaps his most iconic work:
So, congrats to Max. Your cake is thoroughly well-deserved.
While compiling this Post, we were delighted to learn last night that Fury Road secured a mightily impressive hoard of six Oscars: Costume Design; Editing; Make-Up; Production Design; Sound Editing; and Sound Mixing.
But why stop there? Best Actress should have gone to Theron; moreover, Fury Road deserves Best Picture…
Officially the top cinematic sensation of 2015, show us your appreciation, Max:
Oh, what a year! What a lovely year!
And they discovered water on Mars. Which was nice.
“Lovecraft creates dark and sometimes horrific scenarios which, in their tense and gothic style, can seem like the visions of a madman. The formless entity dominates his work, an impalpable threat which lies beneath everything he wrote…” – The SF Source Book.
With Halloween just about a fortnight away, the focus shifts inevitably from SF to horror. One fine way to execute a clean transition between the two is to select one of the main masters of the macabre: Howard Phillips Lovecraft (1890-1937) who – through his twisted scribblings – managed to encompass both genres. Surely, you may think, his distorted visions were too dark and twisted to nestle satisfactorily within the boundaries of SF?
Nevertheless, there are good reasons for Lovecraft’s work to be included unquestionably into the realm of science fiction. Primarily, a considerable proportion of those “unspeakable entities” that languished amidst “hiscluttered prose” were not so much demons but aliens. Moreover, he was one of the first authors to write and describe alien beings. Outside of the Cthulhu Mythos, he certainly wrote more genuine science fiction.
The most striking examples include: In the Walls Of Eryx, set on Venus, reimagined as a jungle planet; and tales of unorthodox scientific experiments: From Beyond (made into a movie in 1986) and Cool Air (which deserves big screen treatment). A significant proportion of his short stories were published in Weird Tales, a predominantly SF magazine of the 1920s and 30s; The Shadow Out Of Time was first published in the June 1936 issue of Astounding Stories, then the most prestigious science fiction magazine available.
Despite undesirable accusations of muddled prose and complicated storytelling,Lovecraft remains one of my favourite 20th century authors. Ironically, his complicated style is distinctive and had such aprofound effect on me, helping to conjure some of my own fictional nightmares.
“[Universal] were blown away by the visual presentation, they openly admitted to loving the screenplay, saying it was dead on… I do not want ‘Mountains’ to be bloody, I do not want it to be crass, but I do want it to be as intense as possible” – Guillermo del Toro.
Guillermo del Toro is one of the most talented film-makers working today. It is no secret that, just a few years ago, the Spanish director should have made his own grandiose cinematic version of Lovecraft’s At The Mountains Of Madness.
In this novella (first published in 1931 and serialized in Astounding Stories in 1936), the geologist William Dyer – a professor from Miskatonic University – “writes to disclose hitherto unknown and closely kept secrets in the hope that he can deter a planned and much publicized scientific expedition to Antarctica.” Allegedly, his previous expedition unearthed “fantastic and horrific ruins (including strange fossils of unheard-of creatures and carved stones tens of millions of years old)” and “a dangerous secret of the City of the Old Ones that lay beyond a range of mountains taller than the Himalayas.”
Problem is, this encouraging project has been festering in development-hell for far too long. No matter how awesome his pre-production designs were – they invariably are – the prospect of a Producer tag for James Cameron and top-billing for Tom Cruise (?!) were too off-putting. Apparently he was just one week away from commencing production of At The Mountains in 2011 when Universal pulled the plug “due to budget issues.”
However, del Toro would not be perturbed for long; he resurrected his dormant plans for his Lovecraft project in 2013.
“I’m going to try it one more time,” he said in one recent interview. “Once more into the dark abyss. We’re going to do a bigpresentation of the project again… and see if any [studio’s] interested.”
(Unfortunately)… “Tom [Cruise] is still attached… He’s been such a great ally of the project.”
“In the coldest regions of space, the monstrous entities Ogdru Jahad – the Seven Gods of Chaos – slumber in their crystal prison, waiting to reclaim Earth… and burn the heavens” – De Vermis Mysteriis, Page 87.
A quick glance at modern strands of science fiction and horror – be it literature, movies or comics – it doesn’t take long to find the influence of the Cthulhu Mythos.
The most notable is the Hellboy comic, created by Mike Mignola in 1993. Developed into one of the stranger – and better – of the recent crop of comic book movies, directed by (what a surprise) Guillermo del Toro in 2004, the titular hell-spawned hero (played by the ever-reliable Ron Perlman)has to battle with not only Rasputin the “Mad Monk,” but the Ogdru Jahad, the most blatant nod to Lovecraft you’ll get in a mainstream comic book movie.
Lovecraft’s work may not seem best suited to the medium of comics, but in the ever-capable talented hands of the artistic genius: Berni(e) Wrightson, it works wonders. A number of Lovecraft’s stories were adapted brilliantly by Wrightson and published in Creepy Magazine during the ’70s.
In 1971, he did a splendid job on the aforementioned Cool Air, which came into my collection a decade later when Eclipse Comics compiled Wrightson’s best horror strips (in added colour!) in Berni Wrightson: Master Of The Macabre.
This – the third page – isa fine example of Wrightson’s style:
The seventh and final page is a creepy classic single splash and will be saved for a forthcoming Post!
Have just discovered this (below) online; how long will it take to track this particular issue down?
A portrait of H. P. Lovecraft by Mike Mignola, the creator of Hellboy.
And, come on, if we’re going to end this Post with Hellboy gifs, might as well have the one with that dastardly mute puppet, the “freak in the gas mask”: Karl Ruprecht Kroenen (“Hitler’s top assassin and Head of the Nazi Cthulhu Society”) performing his ubercool blade-twirling trick inside Manhattan’s Metropolitan Art Museum.
“What horrible will could keep such a creature as this alive?” – Professor Trevor Broom.
THE LONE RANGER: “I wonder how the Cubs are doing?”
“Log Entry: Sol 6. I’m pretty much fucked – that’s my considered opinion. Fucked” – Mark Watney.
There are three important facts you need to know about Ridley Scott’s latest sci-fi opus, based on the best-selling novel by Andy Weir.
The Martian offers a rollickingly good yarn on how tosurvive on our nearest neighbour in the solar system; also, the curse of woefully-underwhelming movies set on Mars as featured in a previous Post has – for the time being at any rate – been expunged; and thirdly – and perhaps most vital of all – this blogger would NOT be watching the movie alone! In a last-minute dramatic twist, Mrs. B noticed the seat next to me on the big-city-bound-buswas vacant. She bungled in and paid the extra fare. We were off to Marstogether after all, and this blogger was already over the moon.
Mrs. B loves Matt Damon; Mrs. B loves Matt Damon topless; Mrs. B loves botany. Yes, folks,my belovedhas found THE PERFECT MOVIE. Watching Matt Damon – sorry, Mark Watney – fiddle with his seeds, Mrs. B pursed her lips in admiration. She leaned over, nudged me in the ribs and whispered: “I wanna go help him!”
Should haveknown she was going to say that. Don’t mind Brad: he’ll be Terra-bound,blogging away, looking after the cat…
THE SEEDS OF DOOM: “Hell yeah I’m a botanist! Fear my botany powers!”
“TheMartianatmosphere is only 1% as thick as Earth’s, so a Mars wind of 100mph… would only have the dynamic force as a 10mph wind on Earth. You could fly a kite in it, but it wouldn’t knock you down” – Dr. Robert Zubrin.
So, when Watney determines to “science the shit out of this,“ how accurate is The Martian’s science?
Or is it just shit?
The most glaring gaffe is the “fierce storm” – the integral plot device that causes Watney to be stranded on Mars in the first place. As the atmosphere of Mars is less dense than Earth’s, such a storm would be extremely unlikely – even Weir was quick – albeit reluctantly – to admit that.
One glowing review commended The Martian for being “one of the best thrillers of the year.”
Thriller?
What makes this movie so enjoyable to watch is the natural charm and effervescence of its leading man. After the hilarious moment when he admits to being a botanist, and (too)confidently vlogs about how he will grow his own food, there is no reason for us to get anxious. No suspense, no dramatic tension, certainly no “edge-of-the-seat” stuff here – in fact, his fight for survival becomes quite entertaining viewing. Amusingly, Watney’s concern seems mostly preoccupied with trying to cope with Commander Lewis’ deplorable taste in disco music!
“No, I absolutely will not turn the beat around!”
The biggest laugh of the movie comes when he experiments with making water by extracting hydrazine from the rocket fuel and burning hydrogen. He is – to use the hip parlance of our time – “pretty smokin'”; literally, the smoke is rising off poor Watney as he vlogs: “So… I blew myself up…”
No prizes for guessing that my little lady gave out the biggest laugh when that accident blasted him across the auditorium in full glorious Dolby Stereo.
THE SECRET GARDEN: “My asshole is proving to be just as useful as my brain”
“Just so we’re clear, Mark Watney is who I want to be. He has all the qualities I like about myself… Mark Watney isn’t afraid to fly” – Andy Weir.
Having enjoyed the audiobook, certain classic lines have been omitted, but Drew Goddard has managed to take one engrossing book and write a rather special screenplay.
It should be mentioned that the second-best feature of this movie is the stunning location photography. Wadi Rum in Jordan makes for a superb Martian landscape. We watched in 3D format, which helped enhance our viewing pleasure immensely.
Personally, we could easily have done withoutany of the scenes back on Earth; none of the (underwritten as usual) NASA personnel had a fraction of Watney’s charisma anyway. At least one of us would have been satisfied with just Damon monologuing nonchalantly into his videocam for the entire 141 minutes.
Apart from the incredible storm, please spare me the youngsocially awkward mathematician who has (successfully!) plotted the best gravity-assisttrajectory to bring back Watney et alwithin agreeable parameters.
The only other major gripe about this movie concerns the climax. Besides the uncertainties of getting Watney into orbit (in a coneless module?!), there is the highly improbable task of Ares III selecting the right course and velocity to catch him. The movie’s running time is fast running out, so the script simply cannot afford any more screw-ups, miraculously. A typically treacly Hollywood ending spoils it a tad, but nevertheless, its place on the Top 10 of 2015 list is assured.
Naturally, there are numerous nods to other movies: being stranded (Cast Away), trying to deal with the return to Earth (Apollo 13), struggling to grow food millions of miles from Earth (Silent Running) and even being separated millions of miles from Jessica Chastain (Interstellar).
Fortunatelyfor Damon, it is a more wholesome slice of sci-fi than the bleak and foul-mouthed Elysium (not even Mrs. B fancied the idea of watching her fave star as a bald-headed cyborg);and for Scott, it is a (much) welcome return-to-form after the flawed Prometheus and misjudged Exodus.
To sum up then, The Martian is one helluva one-guy-against-the-odds movie – an exhilarating cinematic experience which can – and certainly will in this household – be watched time and time again.
And yes, it was fantastic to have nachos with the Special Cheezy Dip again.
DJANGO MEETS SARTANA!
DJANGO FANDANGO
DJANGO BELLS
JINGO DJANGO BANJO
STOP! OR DJANGO’S MOM WILL SHOOT 
Bradscribe 