Brad’s Marvel Movie Marathon Has Led To This Moment:
Where Will YOUR Favourite Be?
“About damn time…” – Nick Fury.
“By Odin’s Bristling Beard!”
There was an idea…
To bring together nineteen remarkable movies. To see if they could be arranged in Bradtastic order.
Besides, seeing as other bloggers have compiled their charts, it was only a matter of time until the arrangement of This Post. If you click on the title of selected entries, it will take you to that particular Bradscribe Review.
To up the tension, trust me to show additional info, such as the order of MCU movies as determined by IMDB users.
Plus: the order of ratings (showing each percentage score) on Rotten Tomatoes.
So, these are what we’re up
Release Date Order:
- Iron Man (May 2008)
- The Incredible Hulk (June 2008)
- Iron Man 2 (May 2010)
- Thor (May 2011)
- Captain America: The First Avenger (July 2011)
- The Avengers (May 2012)
- Iron Man 3 (May 2013)
- Thor: The Dark World (November 2013)
- Captain America: The Winter Soldier (April 2014)
- Guardians of the Galaxy (August 2014)
- Avengers: Age of Ultron (April 2015)
- Ant Man (July 2015)
- Captain America: Civil War (May 2016)
- Doctor Strange (November 2016)
- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (May 2017)
- Spider-Man: Homecoming (July 2017)
- Thor: Ragnarok (November 2017)
- Black Panther (February 2018)
- Avengers: Infinity War (April 2018)
“Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?” – Captain America.
19. The Incredible Hulk
IMDB Ranking: 19
Rotten Tomatoes: 18 (67%)
“Don’t make me hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry” – Bruce Banner.
Not surprisingly, the lowest MCU movie in this – and the IMDB – chart, has the lowest box office gross. No trademark mid or post-credit scenes; no Nick Fury. Its only memorable scene is when the not-so-jolly green giant hurls a tank into the distance – wait! That’s from Ang Lee’s 2003 snoozefest. Duh…
It’s ironic that the strongest being on the planet cannot hold up his own standalone movie.
And speaking of irony…
18. Iron Man 3
IMDB Ranking: 14
Rotten Tomatoes: 13 (80%)
“Is that all you’ve got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?” – Brandt.
Hard to helieve, but this threequel proved to pe just as boring as the big green fella’s outing.
Hmm – this is NOT the one with Mickey Rourke, right…?
You see, yours truly really struggles with this one – if there was ever a time and opportunity to make The Black Widow Movie it was here…
17. Iron Man 2
IMDB Ranking: 16
Rotten Tomatoes: 17 (73%)
“Tony, you’re too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put it on film for you. I built this for you… It represents my life’s work. This is the key to the future. I’m limited by the technology of my time, but one day you’ll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is and always will be my greatest creation… is you” – Howard Stark.
HEY, Mickey! You’re so fine you blow my mind, hey- nah, not really. Nothing worse than having an unintelligible villain.
Notable for Black Widow’s debut, but there is not much else to commend this outing – pity, because Howard Stark (albeit in archive film) has one of the most moving scenes in the franchise.
On its own, Sam Rockwell’s hotsteppin’ is Top 5 material all week long.
16. Ant Man
IMDB Ranking: 13
Rotten Tomatoes: 12 (82%)
“Pick on someone your own size!” – Scott Lang.
When yours truly used to read Ant-Man in Hulk Weekly (where else?) so loooong ago, it NEVER occurred to him that Hank Pym would get his own movie one day. Sfx have reached the stage where this particular hero can be brought to the screen – pity nobody considered getting a good scriptwriter as well…
Paul Rudd turned out to be an ace choice to play Scott Lang/Ant-Man (although everybody preferred him in Civil War), but Michael Douglas as Hank Pym? Not so sure…
Some thrilling microscopic action scenes but, for me, this entry was spoilt by what Hank dismissed as the “three wombats.” And Darren Cross/Yellowjacket was too bland for my (dis)liking.
Wish there was a way for me to embrace this more – to think that Brad is the biggest Ant-Man fan (Ant-fan?) you will ever know…
IMDB Ranking: 8
Rotten Tomatoes: 11 (83%)
Nebula: “All any of you do is yell at each other. You’re not friends.”
Drax: “You’re right… We’re family.”
My first viewing was (mostly) agreeable – and heartrending, with the only original member of the Guardians: Yondu Udonta – but remember exiting the cinema somewhat underwhelmed.
The original Guardians of the Galaxy movie was always going to be a tough act to follow, but this effort has plummeted in my estimation since last May. It’s not just the plethora of lame lines, the forgettable opening scene with Ayesha – although it might as well have everything to do with David frickin’ Asslehoff… (>_<)
But the way in which James Gunn casually discarded Quill’s father: J’son simply ‘cos “I don’t like him” STILL rankles in this camp.
Having read more of Starlord’s back story, this movie crumbles even more. Poor Meredith Quill: in the comics she dies heroically trying to protect Peter from the alien mercenaries sent to eliminate his father – but what do we get instead? Call me old-fashioned, but a brain tumour should play no part in such a light and frothy adventure…
That Mixtape is NOT as awesome as it could be. And Vin Diesel’s Alvin Chipmunk impression is not enough.
Thanks, Taserface, but no thanks…
IMDB Ranking: 15
Rotten Tomatoes: 15 (77%)
Thor: “I need a horse!”
Pet Store Clerk: “We don’t have horses. Just dogs, cats, birds.”
Thor: “Then give me one of those large enough to ride.”
The casting of Tom Hiddleston as Loki and Sir Hop as Odin, plus Ken Branagh’s direction, signified the MCU’s concerted effort to bring some classical, almost-Shakespearean gravitas to these Asgardian proceedings.
What we got was a less-than-engrossing exercise, mainly because it was so poorly lit! Too many of the crucial scenes are deluged in darkness; those Frost Giants might as well be formless entities, but Chris Hemsworth is always watchable in this.
(Not to be confused with Thor: The Dark World – a much lighter exercise)
13. Thor: The Dark World
IMDB Ranking: 17
Rotten Tomatoes: 19 (66%)
“Oh, this is much better. Costume’s a bit much… so tight. But the confidence, I can feel the righteousness surging. Hey, you wanna have a rousing discussion about truth, honour, patriotism? God bless America…” – Loki (…?!)
Great cosmic scenes in Asgard; groovy – but all-too-brief – cameo by the Cap, but one skips some of the scenes set in London. Especially…
The most surreal moment in the MCU: Thor, Son Of Odin, Scion Of Asgard finds himself @ Charing Cross Underground station.
“How do I get to Greenwich?!” the God of Thunder enquires mightily.
The mortal must have been mesmerised by his biceps – or his hammer – for she replies: “Take this train. Three stops.”
RIDICULOUS! Brad says thee NAY!
Listen ye here, Odinson:
From Charing Cross, take the Southbound Northern Line (black) TWO stops to Embankment. Take the Eastbound District Line (green) or Circular Line (yellow) FIVE stops and change @ Monument. Then it is a hardy slog through that station to access the DLR (Docklands Light Railway); it takes another TWELVE stops to reach Greenwich.
Know ye this: the journey is long (approx. 1 hour, most of your Running Time in fact) but not as strenuous as having to sit through Chris Eccleston’s Malekith.
Fare thee well on thy voyage, noble outta-towner!
(Uff, “three stops,” my eye!!)
IMDB Ranking: 11
Rotten Tomatoes: 5 (92%)
“You need to understand, I will do anything to protect my family. I know you know what I’m talking about. So don’t mess with me. Don’t interfere in my business again. Because I will kill you and anyone you care about” – Adrian Toomes.
Well, well, the Spider-Man movie nobody wanted turned out to be pretty cool!
Some people reckoned that Tony Stark spent too much time here – for me, the whole cynical mentor/enthusiastic hero-in-the-making ploy really works here. Appreciate the way they successfully recreated that whole ’80s John Hughes vibe with the high-school scenes. And playing A Flock Of Seagulls too?! Aah, the MCU knows how to make this old boy happy!
But – hoo boy! – DON’T make me sit in the back of Adrian Toomes’ car! Ever!!
11. Iron Man
IMDB Ranking: 4
Rotten Tomatoes: 2 (94%)
“My turn…” – Tony Stark.
The Movie Where It All Began still holds up remarkably well a decade on. Hard to believe that, back then, the choice of Robert Downey Jr. as the titular Shellhead posed quite a gamble for Marvel Studios. No worries, he made his wit and bravado Stark’s own.
Nice entertainment, shame about the sequels…
Blimey, not even those dancing air stewardesses could prevent this from dropping out of my Top 10…
IMDB Ranking: 12
Rotten Tomatoes: 16 (75%)
“Ultron can’t see the difference between saving the world and destroying it. Where do you think he gets that…?” – Wanda Maximoff.
The moment Ultron comes online, thanks to James Spader’s sinister tones, is one of the great moments in the MCU. Ruminating on issues such as the nature of existence, power, intelligence (artificial or not) whilst fending off attacks from the Cap et al makes for such thought-provoking viewing. And then, of course, The Vision – superbly played by Paul Bethany – enters the equation.
The CGI of the opening action sequence may look decidedly dodgy compared to other MCU works, and the climactic Battle of Sokovia tends to drag in one of the MCU’s under-rated offerings, but everyone taking turns trying to lift Mjolnir at Tony’s party more than makes up for that! Surely?
IMDB Ranking: 10
Rotten Tomatoes: 8 (89%)
Dr. Stephen Strange: “I’m gonna have to vanish now. Keep me alive, will you?”
Urban landscapes doing cartwheels! Skyscrapers folding in on themselves! Roads disappearing into nothingness! Benedict Cumberbatch running up the side of a building! The Ancient One has turned into a Caucasian woman!
Will ask this only once:
BY THE HOARY HOSTS OF HOGGOTH! WHAT THE BLAZES DID THEY PUT IN THAT POPCORN?!?!
And could Brad have some more, please…?
IMDB Ranking: 9
Rotten Tomatoes: 1 (96%)
“Praise! Another broken white boy to fix…” – Shuri.
“Wassup, princess?” – Erik Killmonger.
7. Captain America: The First Avenger
IMDB Ranking: 18 (WHA-?! Uff, that’s just nuts…)
Rotten Tomatoes: 14 (79%)
“Captain America! How exciteenk! Ay’m a great fen uf your feelms!” – Johann Schmidt.
When watching Chris Evans’ enjoyable turn as Johnny Storm in the Fantastic Four movie, the prospect of him playing another Marvel hero – let alone the Cap himself! – seemed highly unlikely. Glad he turned up for this – can’t imagine anyone else playing the Cap! Hayley Atwell is so impressive as Peggy Carter, she ought to get her own TV series…
It even made Tommy Lee Jones worth my while for once. But it’s Hugo Weaving as the thoroughly demented Johann Schmidt/Red Skull who lifts this into classic territory.
Thus speaketh the boy who – at one point – was fanatically devoted to Captain Britain…
“Geez! Somebody get that kid a sandwich…” – Senator Brandt.
IMDB Ranking: 5
Rotten Tomatoes: 3 (92%)
Thor: “Strongest Avenger!”
Quinjet Computer: “Access denied.”
Thor: “Damn you, Stark. Point Break.”
Quinjet Computer: “Welcome, Point Break.”
Hey Sparkles, here’s the deal:
Ditch all that heavy, brooding, end-of-days gubbins. Throw oh-so-funny goofballs and looney aliens into candy-coloured cosmic capers. Let loose the Hulk, give Loki more to do, and get that “creepy old man” to shear off Odinson’s locks! Most of all, introduce Hela as the formidable villain the MCU so desperately needs! Oh, and bring in Jeff Goldblum (can’t even type his name without a big dopey grin spreading across me chops!) as the Grandmaster, and you have – quite easily – the most enjoyable movie of 2017!
“Darling, you have no idea what’s possible” – Hela.
IMDB Ranking: 6
Rotten Tomatoes: 6 (91%)
Spider-Man: “Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?
War-Machine: “Jesus, Tony, how old is this guy?”
Iron Man: “I don’t know, I didn’t carbon date him. He’s on the young side.”
“You remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back of that freezer truck?”
“Was that the time you used our train money to buy hotdogs?”
“You blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead.”
“What was her name again?”
“Dolores. You called her Dot.”
“She’s gotta be a hundred years old right now…”
“So are we, pal.”
It’s the sweet and subtle moments like this that count here, along with Tony’s wacky first meeting with Peter.
Plus: a rad debut by the Black Panther.
And, of course, That Airport Scene. WOW, it’s so weird how you run into people at the airport. Don’t you think that’s weird…?
Iron Man: “Who’s speaking?”
Ant-Man: “It’s your conscience. We don’t talk a lot these days…”
IMDB Ranking: 3
Rotten Tomatoes: 7 (91%)
Rocket Raccoon: “What did the galaxy ever do for you? Why would you want to save it?”
Chris Pratt: “Because I’m one of the idiots who lives in it!”
A cosmic combo featuring – get this – a walking tree, a talking raccoon, an ex-wrestler, the star of Avatar (Okay, blue girl is green now! She’s green now!) Oh, and led by that chubby fella from Parks And Rec(?!)
Only Marvel Studios could take the most obscure comic – and these unusual suspects – and produce a supremely groovy galactic gleefest.
And where would this beloved bunch of A-holes be without that Awesome Mixtape…? YAY! Gives me an excuse to fit this in! (Okay, which track would YOU choose?)
“I may be as pretty as an angel, but I sure as hell ain’t one” – Yondu Udonta.
3. The Avengers
IMDB Ranking: 2
Rotten Tomatoes: 4 (92%)
Thor: “Do not touch me again!”
Iron Man: “Then don’t take my stuff.”
Thor: “You have no idea what you are dealing with.”
Iron Man: “Uh, Shakespeare In The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”
Joss Whedon skilfully managed to assemble six heroes for this first team-up epic and what a humdinger it is too!
Despite bigger movies unleashed since this one’s box office conquest, the first Avengers blockbuster retains its high-standing due to such a cool script – selecting the quotes to use here proved more challenging than working out some of these rankings!
The comic book action is irresistible; the tremendous assault on Manhattan is worth a shawarma or three, but, for me, it’s Iron Man and Thor’s fisticuffs in the forest that provides the real knockout punch.
Arguably Rob Downey Jr.’s finest moment in the MCU – certainly his funniest.
My favourite MCU movie for at least two years, primarily ‘cos it marked my initial introduction to this MARVEL-ous franchise.
“Well, let me know if “real power” wants a magazine or something” – Nick Fury.
IMDB Ranking: 1
Rotten Tomatoes: 10 (84%)
“Stop massaging his muscles!” – Peter Quill.
STILL trying to catch my breath back!
STILL overawed – and relieved! – at how well the Mad Titan is depicted here!
STILL amazed at how they [SPOILER!] [SPOILER!] AND Captain America’s beard!!
STILL can’t believe the wizard seriously just said: “hitherto undreamt of”…
Gamora: “Really? Tears?”
The Stonekeeper: “They are not for him…”
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
IMDB Ranking: 7
Rotten Tomatoes: 9 (89%)
“Don’t look at me. I do what he does, just slower” – Sam Wilson.
My personal favourite – possibly the finest superhero movie ever made.
Some remarkable ingredients in this delectable concoction: the fight choreography is outstanding; the riveting spy-thriller narrative; the “GET ME. OFF. THE GRID!” street carnage; Jenny Agutter kicking ass; and Frenchmen getting beaten up. All in all: Brad’s perfect movie!
Even the viewing experience itself was exceptional: that rare moment where the class and coolio-factor displayed onscreen matched the opulent interior décor. That whole weekend was such a wonderful time for both Mr. and Mrs. B – the shopping trip, that Japanese dinner and the hotel are all so pleasantly indented in our memories for all the years to come – we couldn’t have asked for a more spectacular movie that evening to round it all off…
The price of awesomeness is high. It always has been. And it’s a price Brad’s willing to pay.
On your left…
“Was that your first kiss since 1945?” – Natasha Romanoff.