“Illuminatio”: The Return Of Brother Brad

Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat – Fortune Favours The Brave 

“Mutato nominee de te fabula narratur” [The tale is about you, but the name is changed] – Horace. 

 

“…godlike Shapes and Forms

Excelling Human; princely Dignities,  

And Powers that erst in Heaven sat on thrones, 

Though of their names in 

Heaven records now 

Be no memorial…”

 

Lo, Brother Bradthe medieval scribe-monk who vowed to thwart the onslaught of wraithkynde on Earth hath returned. An irresistible urge to resurrect that accursed entity known as MY NOVEL made a most welcome appearance. 

You may recall some time back, when faced with the option of either writing a cosmic adventure, or a medieval mystery, time – and (lack of) energy – might be saved if – yea, ’tis so! – both were combined into one intriguing entity. Initially, a two-part tale appeared on this blog during August 2015.

It became such an immersive joy to compile that the need to write even more of it compelled me to set up a separate blog-site: themedievil.wordpress.com where one could experiment with drafts and the layout of ancient language. 

Now, this project is (tentatively) entitled: The Monastikon Chronicles.

“One of my ancestors” – a scribe-monk of no fixed abbey – must carry out the solitary and ungodly task of smiting members of “wraithkynde” – evil extra-terrestrial beings who have crash-landed in 12th century southern England. This dark, archaic science-fantasie, is light years different from the bright, frothy-mirth to be found in my Fartlighter Bradventures.

Is alternating between such diametrically opposed writing styles difficult to maintain? 

Not at all! Variety is the spice of Bradscribe! 🙂

One thing is for sure: if and when the movie adaptation finally comes to fruition, the theme “tune” has already been selected: a lilting, evocative chant by Hildegard von Bingen, a German nun from the 12th century – contemporaneous with Brother Brad – whose considerable range of the most extraordinary 900+ year old musical compositions have helped set the tone, and directly influenced, a great deal of The Monastikon’s content. 

Atmospheric, sonorous choirs have always had a profound effect on me. And my writing. In addition, dark ambient producer: Metatron Omega has provided me with some truly inspirational pieces, setting the right mood to help me create my own medieval world. These album notes struck a particular chord with me:

“The hermit travels beyond enlightenment, and deep into the perception of the Unknowable.”

Straight away, the parallels can be drawn: unmistakably, thathermit” is Brother Brad, while his “Unknowable” oppoments are the wraiths: a malevolent race of shapeshifters from beyond the stars… “…and deep into the perception”? i.e. yea, they have been expecting him!

“The everlasting voices of monks lost in space and time, searching for knowledge as they echo through dimensions…”

This soaring masterpiece exceeds even my own stringent Bradtastic expectations: 

 

“Faber est suae quisque fortunae” [Everyone is the architect of their own destiny] – Appius Claudius Caecus.   

From the very beginning, it felt imperative that the narrative be related in the first person. As every good writing manual will tell you, the main advantage in selecting first person point of view, is that it provides a sense of immediacy. There is also a degree of intimacy as the reader feels like he/she has direct access to the narrator’s thoughts. And not to mention: a sense of authenticity. 

Actually, this approach is a necessary one.

Of the numerous aspects of medieval life gleaned from my extensive research, especially notable was the fact that during the age of the large monastic houses – from the early 12th century (in which my novel is set) until the early 16th century – all brethren were actively encouraged to maintain a vow of silence, at all times, thus seriously hindering any chance of Brother Brad interacting with his fellow monks!

Only the highest echelons of that particular house: the Abbot, the Infirmarer; the Receptor et al offer the inclusion of dialogue in my story.

That is, dialogue with human characters…

Already, drafts of some feisty confrontations with wraithkynde have appeared on my other blog-site. And readers will be interested to know that these otherworldly antagonists are garrulous as well as ghoulish! 

Encouragingly, the onset of this winter season presented a fresh chance to get back on track. Driven by the need to revive and rework the considerable backlog of unfinished fiction projects that clutter the draws and bureaus within Brad Manor, some encouraging sections have been developed during this past four months, compared to the last twelve months prior to that. Moreover, that blog platform is an ideal place from which to develop my novel, as each Post represents a passage from this venerable scribe-monk’s journal. 

Part of my fascination with Marvel’s The Mighty Thor, stems from the intriguing way in which Stan Lee and Jack Kirby accentuated the Lord – sorry! God – of Thunder’s legendary origins by making him speak in a faux-Middle English manner. In the 12th century, if and when anything had to be uttered in monasteries, it would hake been related in either Olde English or Latin. Did have the opportunity in my second year of university to actually study the latter, but, of course, there was no way of knowing back then that such a project as this would come to fruition.

It has been fascinating working Olde English – in particular its extremely antiquated approach to spelling – into my fiction. However, one recent (successful) author of historical fiction: Robyn Young – who concentrates on the Knights Templar during the 14th century – remarked how her anxious agent advised her that readers are generally put off by an overabundance of olde grammar.

Indeed, am very grateful that – a couple of years ago – one of my few readers sent a Comment to let me know that he’d had difficulty following my olde-style composition. Admittedly, this writer went overboard (and enjoyably so) with that particular draft. Despite being prepared to offer a Glossary of Olde English and Latin terms, to ensure publication some significant reductions in olde prose will, inevitably, have to be administered!

As the motto of Augustus – the first Emperor of Rome -advised: “Festina lente!” [Make haste slowly!]

“Try and get a sense of the whole world that you are writing about if there is one location… History [is not] all dates and facts and figures. There [are] all these incredible stories about people and narratives and things that inform us of our families past or our countries past” – Robyn Young.

Of the three simplistic stages of any novel: a beginning, a middle and an end, one is fairly confident to state that at least the first has been set!

Brother Brad witnesses what would, at that point in history, be described as a “falling star.” He realises that it is an “unearthlie vessel” – it changes course in the sky and its speed decreases during its descent…

Having traced its “occupants” (there were at least three wraiths to emerge from it – frustratingly, the exact number is unknown) to the nearest abbey, the course of the novel focuses on Brother Brad’s attempts to deduce which monks are not what they appear to be…

Naturally, the denouement will be determined by what takes place at the core of the novel. Unfortunately, the original premise did not seem credible or plausible; the alternative course of actions impressed me even less. Before you could say: “Carpe diem,” my creative momentum vanished, and although some further effort was put in (by providing more back-story and developing one or two minor characters) you may have noticed that work on my novel ceased completely.   

There is another – but more telling – reason why my novel stalled during the middle of last year (and my enthusiasm to write/revise it has suddenly revived). The Monastikon is, essentially, a Winter’s tale. Very much like the infant 20th century Brad many moons ago – who lost count of the days away from school due to one winter snuffle after another – Brother Brad constantly bemoans the wretched weather blighting his sojourn at the abbey. This light relief is further accentuated by the realisation that none of the other monks are not the least bit troubled by the disagreeable climate!

As Ovid once said: “Perfer et obdura!” (Be patient and hold out!)

Know ye this, my blessed band o’ Bradficton buffs!

In addition to new instalments – posted at the end of each month – there are plenty of archived posts where a lack of energy or enthusiasm for creative writing meant that stand-ins consisting of no more than quotes and a music video had to suffice; over the next quarter, my aim is to revise these posts, and hopefully present something worth reading!

It would be very much appreciated if you could pay a visit to the latest instalment here: 

Any feedback/criticisms would be most welcome! 

 

Alas, ’tis my task to write these Chronicles.

Anew.

For you see, the original manuscript, which Brother Brad had so painstakingly laboured over – like so much of the relics and other holy paraphernalia from the Middle Ages – was destroyed during the Dissolution of the Monasteries that swept through every region of Tudor England between 1536-1540… …

 

“I want knowledge! Not faith, not assumptions, but knowledge. I want God to stretch out His hand, uncover His face and speak to me” – Antonius Block.

 

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“He Was A Navigator On A Spice Freighter”: My Father’s Top 10 Movie Moments

I Am Groovy, Like My Father Before Me! 

I am Auda abu Tayi! Does Auda serve?  Does Auda abu Tayi serve? I carry 23 great wounds, all got in battle. 75 men have I killed with my own hands in battle. I scatter, I burn my enemies’ tents! I take away their flocks and herds. The Turks pay me a golden treasure, yet I am poor! Because I am A RIVER TO MY PEOPLE!!” – Auda abu Tayi.

Hard to believe that my father – former globe-trotting RAF sergeant and Jedi Knight – passed away on this day 10 years ago.  

Considering how difficult it has been trying to concentrate on writing anything else this week, this Post seemed like an ideal celebration to compile. 

Having had absolutely no paternal guidance himself, he sometimes found it difficult to be Dad – “I’m just making it up as I go along, man” 🙂 Whatever problems or disagreements we had, it would only take one of us to suggest: “Let’s watch a movie” and everything would revert to being as right as rain again.

He really digged a smart script – he constantly criticised my short stories, complaining about the drab dialogue, constantly advising me to listen –always listen – to the way people talked. Thus, he picked up some iconic one-liners along the way, many of which are included here. 

He appreciated some really fine performances, most notably: Eli Wallach (as Tuco) in The Good, The Bad And the Ugly (1967); Robert Lacey (as Toht) in Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981); and Robert De Niro in practically everything he did! But mainly the Godfather Part II (1974), Midnight Run (1988) and Heat (1995).

Possibly the most impressive performance he ever watched came from Anthony Quinn as Arabian tribal chief: Auda abu Tayi in Lawrence Of Arabia (1962). To us, that will stand forever as the Greatest Movie Ever Made – Quinn alone could easily have filled this Top 10 list (but of those few good clips, none of them stay online for long)

Today, you could have been treated to: the Top 10 Planes That Dad Loved To Fly. However, guessing that you probably wouldn’t recognise most of them anyway (for those of you taking notes, No.1 happened to be the de Havilland DH 98 Mosquito 😉 ) instead, this list will just have to suffice.

 

 

10. “Don’t sweat it!”

Southern Comfort (1981)

Paris Texas (1984) was one of those great Americana movies we enjoyed together, mainly because of that haunting soundtrack by Ry Cooder. 

My father had been THAT CLOSE to getting a job Stateside, but after that fell through, he “disappeared,” trying to travel as much overland as possible. So when we found Ry Cooder attached to the soundtrack of this thriller set in the Louisana bayou, we thot we’d give it a go.

Mostly, a mean, moody and magnificent work, but the last ten minutes was a revelation. For the next few months, my quest for Cajun LPs stretched far and wide…

Allons dancé!

Cajun Trapper: “I ain’t gonna kill y’all if I don’t gotta… you got a bayou over dere… take it… stay to the west side… you’re gonna find a road about a mile up dere.”

Hardin: “Do you mind tellin’ us what the Hell this is all about?”

Cajun Trapper: “It real simple… we live back in here… dis is our home, and nobody don’t fuck with us…  Now, if I was you all, I’d quit askin’ questions and haul ass… ’cause my buddies… dey not nice like me.”

Hardin: “Are we supposed to say thanks?”

Cajun Trapper: “You not supposed to say nuttin’… soldier.”

 

9. “War changes men’s natures…” 

Breaker Morant (1979)

An anti-war war movie set during the Boer War (1899-1902) based on a true story. 

Dad stayed up well after his bedtime, completely absorbed in this courtroom drama (and he detested courtroom dramas!) that featured one of the most notorious cases of military injustice.

And at breakfast the next morning, he couldn’t help but go on and on about it. Would have bunked off school that morning, just to listen to his enthusiasm all the way until lunchtime, if Mum hadn’t told me to skedaddle. 

We regarded this as the greatest Australian movie ever made. Yes, that’s right, we thought it’s even better than Mad Max!

Strewth!

It really ain’t the place nor time to reel off rhyming diction,

But yet we’ll write a final rhyme while awaiting crucifixion.

For we bequeath a parting tip of sound advice for such men

Who come in transport ships to polish off the Dutchmen.

If you encounter any Boers, you really must not loot ’em,

And if you wish to leave these shores, for pity’s sake, don’t shoot ’em.

Let’s toss a bumper down our throat before we pass to Heaven,

And toast a trim-set petticoat we leave behind in Devon” – Lt. Harry Morant.  

 

8. Litmus Configuration 

Midnight Run (1988)

A cool, entertaining and highly recommended buddy comedy – how many times did this grace our VCR?! It got to the stage where we could hurl whole sections of dialogue at each other, and still never get tired of watching the actual movie. 

The amazing – yet under-rated – Charles Grodin only had to walk through the door into this scene and Dad was already in stitches. 

1:24 always cracked him up even more: 

“YOU GUYS ARE THE DUMBEST BOUNTY HUNTERS I’VE EVER SEEN! YOU COULDN’T EVEN DELIVER A BOTTLE OF MILK!” – Jonathan “The Duke” Mardukas. 

 

 

7. “Wake up, time to die!” 

Blade Runner (1982) 

My father loved to read Philip K Dick’s novels, so couldn’t wait to watch the TV premiere of Blade Runner. 

So much has been written about its influential visual futurism, but it was one of the replicants: not the obvious choice: Roy Batty, but Leon, played by the crazy-eyed Brion James who Dad paid particular attention to. His role as the one-armed Cajun trapper in Southern Comfort was the other reason why we watched that movie!

Always dig that mo @ 0:35 – when Dekard draws his gun and Leon immediately bats it away.

As Dad so eloquently put it: “Way too cool, man!”

Leon: “What do you mean, I’m not helping?”

Holden: “I mean: you’re not helping! Why is that, Leon?”

 

 

6. La Golondrina 

The Wild Bunch (1969) 

Yeah, this is the typical “Dad Movie” alright.

Expect nothing less than one long gore-fest cram-packed with incredibly stylised bloody action sequences in Sam Peckinpah’s infamous masterpiece: The Wild Bunch.

And yet its most peaceful moment, when the bunch are riding off to certain death, that really struck a chord with Dad. He instantly fell in love with La Golondrina (The Swallow); it’s a Mexican tune written in the 19th century.

Had to take note of its time on our tape whenever he often requested just “THAT MOMENT from The Wild Bunch.”

“Very smart. That’s very smart for you damn gringos…”

Dutch Engstrom: “They’ll be waitin’ for us.”

Pike Bishop: “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

 

5. The Imperial March

The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 

You may already know how this blogger was blessed to have gawped at the original Star Wars trilogy in the cinemas on their respective original releases.

Even more exuberant to have a father who – for the next three decades – never failed to admit how glad he was to have taken me (and several excitable chums from school on numerous occasions!) and share the joy to be had from that galaxy far far away. 

(For the record, his fav “character” – you’d never guess! – turned out to be Salacious B. Crumb – HA!)

So many thrilling individual moments to choose from… 

He loved that now-legendary shot of Luke gazing into the twin suns and EVERY SINGLE TIME it came on, he’d whistle along to the Tatooine Theme, but the Imperial March provoked a more striking action: EVERY SINGLE TIME we reached 1:27, Dad would start slamming his heel into the floor in time to the Imperial beat. Hannibal (our tabby cat) could sense that particular disturbance in the Force comin’ – honestly, he never fled THAT FAST in sheer terror from any other movie…

“You found something?” 😉

Darth Vader: “The Rebels are alerted to our presence. Admiral Ozzel came out of lightspeed too close to the system.”

General Veers: “He… he felt surprise was wiser…”

Darth Vader: “He is as clumsy as he is stupid! General… prepare your troops for a surface attack.”

General Veers: “Yes, my Lord.”

 

 

4. The Smoker

For A Few Dollars More (1965) 

Arguably, the coolest western ever made. 

Dad taped this for me during my last year at junior school; he’d enjoyed watching this in an open-air screening in Yemen back in ’68. Gian Maria Volonte as El Indio, was one of Dad’s fav villains. Which of his scenes to select?

But then memories of how Dad laughed every time Klaus Kinski appeared, especially here @ 0:10.

This scene is probably the most TENSE confrontation in movie history.

Saw a lot of my father in Colonel Douglas Mortimer (Lee van Cleef): true gentleman; expert marksman; absolute BADASS!

Wild, The Hunchback: “Well well, if it isn’t the smoker. Well… Remember me, amigo? ‘Course you do. El Paso.”

Col. Douglas Mortimer: “It’s a small world.”

Wild, The Hunchback: “Yes, and very, very bad. Now come on, you light another match.”

Col. Douglas Mortimer: “I generally smoke just after I eat. Why don’t you come back in about ten minutes?”

Wild, The Hunchback: “Ten minutes you’ll be smoking in hell. GET UP!”

 

3. “When you cast it in, what did you see?”

Excalibur (1981)

Not only were we entranced by this stupendous and spellbinding retelling of the legend of King Arthur, but we were gobsmacked by the music of Richard Wagner. Siegfied’s Funeral March, especially, had quite an inspirational and spiritual hold over both of us. 

With its almost ethereal imagery, and powerful performances, this was John Boorman’s masterpiece.

Studying ancient British history – and the legends/mythology stemming from these isles – became our joint mission; and Excalibur brought the two of us even closer together.

Now you know why this movie is played in Brad Manor every year on the fifth night of the second month…  

Uther: “The sword. You promised me the sword!”

Merlin: “And you shall have it; but to heal, not to hack. Tomorrow, a truce; we meet at the river.”

Uther: “Talk. Talk is for lovers, Merlin. I need the sword to be king!”

 

 

2. “Bet you were thinking: now why don’t he write?” 

Dances With Wolves (1990)

Aow, it really is getting more emotional now…

My father’s final trip to the cinema came in January 1991. Dances With Wolves satisfied his fascination for American Civil War history, and marked the directorial debut of Kevin Costner, whose The Untouchables (1987) we had enjoyed immensely.

Dad always remarked out loud at the superb training of Two Socks. Except for our last viewing together @ Christmas 2008 – it would mark the final viewing session we shared together, but by that time, he was too weak to keep awake through most of it…

Oh, THAT music: 

“There’s a wolf who seems intent on the goings-on here. It does not seem inclined to be a nuisance however, and aside from Cisco has been my only company. He’s appeared each afternoon for the past two days. He has two milky-white paws. If he comes calling tomorrow, I will name him Two Socks” – John Dunbar.  

 

 

1. Bad To The Bone 

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 

His favourite movie star.

His favorite rock song.

So when these two most formidable entities in the universe collided in our living room back in ’91, it became one of those life-affirming moments. Heck, with Arnie’s shot-gun twirl, the big rig carnage on the LA freeway and many more energetic sequences, will never forget how Dad kept jumping out of his armchair.

The Original Brad To The Bone 🙂

As that other “great old man” once said: “he was the best pilot in the galaxy and a good friend.”

He always told me: NEVER GIVE UP, and yet he gave up a career in the RAF to become a full-time Dad. 

In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

“No, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. You don’t say “affirmative,” or some shit like that. You say “no problemo.” And if someone comes on to you with an attitude you say “eat me.” And if you want to shine them on it’s “hasta la vista, baby” 

Gordon Bradford (4 December 1925 – 6 February 2009). 

 

Lekebusch Longboarding! Manic Music Monday Goes Downhill

The Need For Speed. And Swedish Techno… 

“We all live amid surfaces, and the true art is to skate well on them” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

 

While writing fiction – short stories or novel chapters – it is imperative that music accompanies my prolonged creative sessions. (Hopefully, a Post featuring something more substantial to read should appear on Bradscribe before this month is through! 😉 )

Techno can really drive the pace of a scene, and heighten action sequences. Listening on YouTube is fine – most vids are uploaded with only photos of the record label, but there are various channels that make an effort to provide cool visuals to enrich a particular track. These are great to watch during a hot choccie break. 

One fine and dandy example is Obscurus Sanctus by Cari Lekebusch – these (smartly-dressed) daredevil downhill longboarders received a few plays on my laptop when it first appeared almost eight years ago.

Almost forgot about this vid when it came to compiling these Manic Music Monday posts; had no idea if it still existed online, so am happy to share it with you today – enjoy!

The beat is suitably groovy; is the vid Manic enough for you? 

 

“I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than most people” – Joe Cool.  

 

Remember When: The Bradscribe Retro Party!

We’re Having The Time Of Our Lives! The Only Question Is – What Time Is It?!

“Be excellent to each other. And… PARTY ON, DUDES!” – Abraham Lincoln.

Here it is! 

You can step (click?) out of the 21st century a mo and sample some of the delights of yesteryear!

As you’d expect, the drinks are fizzy and the music is stellar in this sector of the blogosphere! There are bowls of Twiglets and Cheesy Wotsits as far as the eye can see, and a whole stash of Curly Wurlys, Banjos, Jammy Dodgers and Wagon Wheels to enjoy.

Amidst snazzy streamers and popping balloons, let’s get this groovy get-together off and flying!

The mystery. The suspense. The adventure. The call… that started it all.

Elliott: “He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.”

Greg: “Well, can’t he just beam up?”

Elliott: “This is reality, Greg.”

Remember when:

Brad said he would NOT go to watch E.T. back in ’82?

Even when yours truly was only that high, he felt too old to indulge in such mushy, sentimental falderdash! Wanted my aliens to be cool, menacing, even hostile if it guaranteed great action sequences. All the kids in my class knew that this quiet, spindly lil blond moppet sitting at the back of the classroom forever reading comics, was the one most likely to dig sci-fi movies, and yet none of them could understand why he was the only one not to go watch E.T. Quite clearly, Dyzan moves in mysterious ways… 

Yeah, watched this Spielberg classic upon receiving its belated UK TV premiere, and loved it. 

Was absolutely delighted to hear this personal fav pop song played in Spider-Man: Homecoming. 

Captures perfectly that John Hughes vibe:

All he wanted to do was dance... 😉

Ren: “You like Men at Work?”

Willard: “Which man?”

Ren: “Men at Work.”

Willard: “Well where do they work?”

Ren: “No, they don’t, they’re a music group.”

Willard: “Well what do they call themselves?”

Ren: “Oh no! What about The Police?”

Willard: “What about ’em?”

Ren: “You ever heard them?”

Willard: “No, but I seen them.”

Ren: “Where, in concert?”

Willard: “No, behind you.”

Remember when:

No matter what creative pursuits occupied this particular tiny mind, in his Command centre (i.e. his bedroom), or wherever he was on his Grifter bike, Brad just had to be in front of the telly every Thursday evening at around 7pm to catch the latest edition of Top Of The Pops, in which groups performed their latest singles.

With YouTube, it’s great to re-watch some of the best performances to appear on the show, many of which one really believed would never be seen again.

Bought a few singles myself, (mostly EPs on cassette) but not anywhere near as many as one would have liked…

If you enjoyed the 80s vibes and nostalgia of The Midnight – Explorers you’ll love this too:

SPOILER!: They’re heading for the medical frigate…

Admiral Ackbar: “All craft, prepare to retreat.”

Lando Calrissian: “We won’t get another chance at this, Admiral!”

Admiral Ackbar: “We have no choice, General Calrissian! Our cruisers can’t repel firepower of that magnitude!”

Lando Calrissian: “Han will have that shield down. We’ve got to give him more time!”

Remember when:

there were only two Star Wars movies?

Come 1983, almost eweyone at school anxiously wondered if Revenge Of the Jedi had any chance of equalling its illustrious predecessors. Then the deflating story swept through the classrooms: George Lucas had changed the title (to the more dull Return Of The Jedi, upon realising that vengeance is not exactly a trait associated with “that old religion”). Obviously, we concurred: the production was doomed, and thus we feared the worst. 

No worries!

This Richard Marquand-directed presentation blew us all away with its spectacular story and spills. Naturally, we ended up gawping all the way through it, just as much as we’d done all the way through Star Wars 2 three years earlier. 

Can’t remember any of the Trigonometry lessons from around that time, but will never forget that acquiring the latest range of Star Wars action figures and filling up our Official Return Of The Jedi Sticker Albums became essential endeavours. 😉

Greetings, Retrowaver. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against smartphones and mainstream “music” 🙂

Alex smiles + Grig smiles = Everybody smiles!

“Am I to understand that you’re actually declining the honour of becoming a Starfighter? Extraordinary…! This is all highly irregular!” – Grig.  

Remember when:

The “experts” insisted that the revolutionary “new” computerised special visual effects technology utilised in The Last Starfighter (1984) would transform the ways in which SF movies were produced?

Unfortunately, such is the rapacious rate at which computer technology has advanced in just the last three decades, so the sfx of this little sci-fi action/adventure outing have dated rather poorly. Anyway, the film neatly tapped into the video-game-craze that was massive back then, and carries a charm, sensitivity and sense of wonder that is badly-needed in the CGI-driven dross we are lumbered with nowadays.

The central performances provide its other strong points: Lance Guest as the top video-gamer: Alex Rogan who wins a trip to a galactic war, is always entertaining, certainly more memorable than some wooden leading players we could mention, but Dan O’Herlihy made Star Navigator 1st Class Grig awesome enough to become one of my all-time fave cinematic aliens, 

Easily the most enjoyable aspect of compiling these music posts is that moment when (you think) you’ve got all the platters that matter and are set to launch, when –at the last minute! – something captures your senses. This next number is the latest instance of this astonishing trend, discovered only this past weekend!

The assortment of freaky aliens hare – designed by Jim Henson’s Creature Workshop! – appeared in the video to Billy Ocean’s 1985 hit single: “Loverboy”(!)

These grooves are so cosmic they can’t be from this Earth! This has become my new favourite track: 

Beware of geeks bearing gifs 😉

“If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour… you’re gonna see some serious shit” – Dr. Emmett Brown. 

Aow!

It’s one of those parties where you just don’t want the merriment to end, right? 

For those who want to enjoy more Retrowave jollities, you’re welcome to zip along to my last volume of Electric Dreams (and follow the Links back to the other instalments!)

There will be LOTS MORE parties, reviews and fiction to come on Bradscribe

IF 

we can all pull ourselves away from this dreamy gif: 

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it” – Ferris Bueller. 

Cheers!

 

The Midnight: Explorers

To The Freedom Fighters

To The Everest Climbers 

To The Castaways

To The Midnight Riders

To The Spark Igniters…

“Mom, remember that stuff you were tellin’ me about your dreams and doin’ what you want to do? Well, if I really want to be an astronaut and go out in space – and really do that, it’d be ok, right?” – Ben Crandall.

 

Dear Friends,

Following yet another losing battle against this madhouse that is the 21st century, Brad has decided to strike back and hold an ’80s Party this week. 

Had such a groovy time this past weekend dipping into 80s pop classics and Retrowave numbers, so can’t wait to share some of my top picks with you! Therefore, this edition of Manic Music Monday offers a preview of what nostalgic delights lie in store. 🙂

Have recently discovered The Midnight: a group who have really tapped into the sounds and vibes of that decade. This vid exudes such a welcome feelgood quality, includes an amazing assortment of movie clips, and, being a joyous celebration of all-things-80s, it seemed just too cool to hold back.

After last week’s Retro Review of The Goonies this vid is a reminder that Joe Dante’s Explorers (1985) had also passed me by! Have started watching that, so perhaps another Retro Review might be in the works…

Hope you can make it to the party in mid-week. It’ll be lovely to see you! 

And – hey! – if Brad is really on the ball, you should be getting the latest Fartlighter Bradventure by the end of this week! 😉

Cheers!

 

Wolfgang Müller: “Explosions in space? It’s impossible.”

Darren Woods: “What do you mean? You can hardly see the strings.”

 

Vivian Stanshall’s biG GRunt – 11 Mustachioed Daughters!

Manic Music Monday Continues – With A Black Sabbath Pastiche 

Why can’t I be different and unusual… like everyone else?” – Vivian Stanshall.

 

In compiling this week’s thrilling instalment of Manic Music Monday, only one influential individual came to mind.

Vivian Stanshall (1943-1995), highly eccentric, “as-English-as-tuppence” singer-songwriter, musician, author, poet and side-splitting wit, most famous for writing and performing with The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band. 

Wnen he wasn’t hanging out with John and Paul of The Beatles, getting up to wacky japes with Keith Moon of The Who, and recording his debut solo album with Traffic’s Steve Winwood, he toiled away – over several years – on an ingenious, seminal work: Sir Henry at Rawlinson End, an episodic surrealist radio serial especially recorded for BBC Radio 1’s John Peel show, chronicling the bizarre – but unfailingly hilarious, and highly recommended – (mis)adventures of inebriated and irascible old codger: Sir Henry Rawlinson. 

This Christmas, it has been great getting reacquainted with this blinking-bonkers masterpiece. 

Did some rummaging around online, and eventually discovered this obscure gem.

biG GRunt was “one of a number of short-lived groups” Viv formed following the demise of The Bonzos, but considering these groups featured the same core personnel, it could be argued that they’re essentially the same band masquerading under a variety of names. 

This rare performance (recorded in 1970) appeared on a BBC4 documentary about this exceptionally gifted inductee of the Bradscribe Hall of Fame: 

 

“We first met in a big Irish pub in South London, the New Cross Arms … Vivian was quite plump in those days, wearing Billy Bunter check trousers, a Victorian frock coat, horrible little oval, violet-tinted pince-nez glasses; he had a euphonium under his arm, and large, rubber false ears. And I thought, well, this is an interesting character… 

“He was – is – in terms of what he’s left behind, a national treasure…” – Neil Innes. 

 

Truffle Shuffle!: It Took Me Only 33 Years To Finally Watch The Goonies

Goonies Never Say Die!

Irene Walsh: “Pants and shirts go in the… oh, forget about it. Just throw everything into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you really translate all that?”

Mouth: “For sure, Mrs. Walsh. [in Spanish] The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.”

As someone who lived through – and thoroughly enjoyed – the 80s, it is baffling how one of its decade-defining movies has hidden from me for so long. 

Seeing how 80s pop music and Retrowave have made triumphant returns to my playlist lately – and there is no joy to be had compiling my latest comics Post – the urge to do another nostalgic deely-bobber-Curly-Wurly-Chopper-ridin’ Post is naturally, overwhelming. 

So now would be an ideal time to review this cult classic. 

Remember seeing the poster in the video rental store; and can recall a girl from school claiming this to b the greatest movie ever made. 

In a bid to save their home from being demolished, Mikey, and his older brother Brand (not Brad, unfortunately – aow! opportunity missed right there) and their other misfit friends set out to find One-Eyed Willie’s treasure. 

This marked the debut of Josh Brolin, who – after Avengers: Infinity War and Deadpool 2 last year – is hot right now, so it was particularly interesting to see how he began his film career. Also, other younglings included Sean Astin, now more famous to have starred in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, the Chinese kid from Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom, and the then-ubiquitous Corey Feldman (let’s be honest, if he wasn’t available, this film would not have been made! 😉 )

Despite its fervent fan following, The Goonies has never been shown on British terrestrial TV.

Until this Christmas of course.

This is actually directed by Richard (Superman, Lethal Weapon) Donner. Although Spielberg is credited as just Executive Producer here, this movie overflows with his stylistic and kid-centred trademarks.

Yes, within the opening ten minutes, this viewer was hooked. We instantly get to know what this gang are like, what they are (in)capable of, and – guess what? – unlike some other buddy movies, you quickly feel compelled to actually care about what happens to these guys.

It’s a great introductory scene – already re-watched it countless times! – and one that needed to be put up here:

goonies-1985-mikey-with-1-eyed-willy

Stef: “Data, where are you going?”

Data: “I’m setting booty traps.”

Stef: “You mean booby traps?”

Data: “That’s what I said! BOOBY TRAPS! God, these guys!”

If there’s one thing that Brad really digs in an adventure movie, then it just has to be boobytraps, and The Goonies is loaded with some really wicked contraptions! 

And you really can’t go wrong with a pirate’s treasure plotline, plus a groovy shot of Willie’s skeletal crew still in situ, all seated around a banqueting table. Half-expected them to rise up to clank and chase the Goonies around the decks! But this sounds like Pirates of The Caribbean could do with a re-watch… 😉

Crucially, it’s tough trying to find this degree of (entertaining!) thrills, energy – and vibes –in any other movie.

The gripes are (thankfully) few:

Please spare me those turkeys: the Fratelli brothers (Robert Davi and Joe Pantoliano). Evil henchmen who turn out to be bumbling cretins has to be Hollywood’s most overused trope – it’s certainly the most tiresome; can’t recall any movie (from the last thirty years alone) in which such “characters” actually worked. 

Sloth –  that other Fratelli brother locked away in the cellar – may have his fans, but his inclusion seemed to be a tad unnecessary. Perhaps his grotesque visage dissuaded me from watching The Goonies back in the day? Is it just me, or does accentuating such a disfigured individual for comedic purposes make for uncomfortable viewing…?

This point – and those brothers – could have dropped my Rating to 3-stars. 

Perhaps parts of the dialogue don’t work. Thought there would be more quotable one-liners herein. Some of the gags aren’t laughable as they ought to be and the cracks not wise enough, but at least this show more than makes up for this personal niggle with visual tricks and treats aplenty.  

And probably the action does descend to noisy and shambolic levels towards the end, but then again, it’s a sign that yours truly really has outgrown this brand of adolescent tomfoolery.

Or has he…? 😉

goonies-1985-1520

Andy: “I can’t tell… if it’s an “A sharp” or if it’s a “B flat”!”

Mikey: “Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we’ll all “B flat!””

Don’t worry:

this dude is not going to bang on about how they don’t make ’em like they used to, but The Goonies perfectly illustrates why its wild and rollicking formula worked back then. And why such adventure films are never made nowadays (and even if they were, they wouldn’t work anyway).

One scene in particular (you can watch it below!) best exemplifies this:

Following their plunge down a water slide, the Goonies emerge in a cavern to discover One-Eyed Willie‘s pirate ship. If this movie was made now, that ship would have been CGed by a horde of animators: no magic, no wonder; in 1985, this huge plot-device came specially painstakingly constructed. and only for just a fleeting glimpse shot! 

Gawd, such practicalities are what makes this 80s stuff endure. (And what current movie-makers have neglected to heed). Having finally watched it once, will Brad watch this 1985 thrill-ride again?

Oh yes. 

Somewhere, somehow – hopefully some time soon it will be great to “hang out” with that cheeky, crazy, but irresistibly groovy bunch known as the Goonies once more – oh, what the hey! – or a few times more.

A few more truffle shuffles won’t hurt…

God, these guys! 😉

 

BRADSCRIBE VERDICT: 

“This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid”

 

goonies-1985-poster

Francis Fratelli: “Hey, kid! I want you to spill your guts, tell us everything!”

Chunk: “Everything?”

Francis Fratelli: “Everything.”

Chunk: “Everything. OK, I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out!”